Gospel Goals For Our Children

So, we're going to talk about gospel goals today, so let's pray. Before I pray though, anybody need a handout? I'm sure they have plenty of handouts. If you need a handout, okay. Alright, Ryan, you got that? Or Micah, or somebody?

Alright. All right, well, let's start with prayer. Father, we're thankful again for your mercy to us in Jesus. We're thankful for the gospel which commands us and which gives us answers, even in this area of our lives. We pray now that you would help us to grasp this. I pray for parents-to-be and young parents here today.

We pray that this would be helpful to them. We pray, Father, that we would see that our goal must conform to the gospel. So help us now as we think this through. In Jesus' name, amen. You're in the store looking at peaches when you hear this. Down the aisle you hear a woman yelling at her child, Stop getting up.

Do you want me to set you back down? Sit down. I said sit down. A little bit later you hear her saying, Stop grabbing those things. If you don't stop, then we're not going to McDonald's. I'm telling you, if you don't stop, we're not going to go to McDonald's.

And the kid just keeps going with whatever she's doing. Now, I'm not kidding. You better quit grabbing that. Do you think she has a goal for her child? Now, she might not be able to articulate it at that moment. She might not be able to say, I'm telling this to my child because I want this to happen.

It could be her only goal is, I just want this kid to just quit bothering me and just to quit grabbing things. Here's a dad who takes his three sons and involves them in wrestling from the time they can barely walk. They wrestle summer, spring, summer, and fall. He enters them in every tournament in the state and even looks for tournaments out of state.

He's built them a place in the basement where they can practice. Looking at that, do you think he has a goal for his sons? Yeah, I think you could probably figure that one out. The pastor is fuming mad when he gets home from church because his son has dyed his hair blue that afternoon while he's gone to see someone in the hospital. And when he saw his son walk into church shortly after the evening service began he about had a cow Now he at home blowing a gasket What do you think you doing Don you care what people think about your father How could you embarrass me like that?

All right? Does he have a goal for his son? Yeah, he does. It's been coming out loud and clear in that exchange. How would you complete this sentence? the goal for my children is what? What would you put in the blank?

What would you write in that line? Now, if you can't write anything in that line, then it's good you're here today because we've got to have a goal. How would your children complete this sentence? What mom and dad want for me is... All right? How would they fill that line in?

Now, that's a good question. And, you know, after today, hopefully, as you interact with your children, they ought to be able to say what your goal for them is. It's not something that we keep secret from our kids either. It's something that we have in mind that shapes everything we do and that colors our relationship with our kids and even becomes that which we communicate that.

But if you can't fill in that blank, you aren't fully prepared for the challenge of your children. You're not fully prepared to be able to handle what's coming down the pike and what you're going to do with your kids. So this afternoon we want to address the issue of these gospel goals or God's goal for your children. Now, why should you have a goal in raising your children?

Let's ask that question first. why should you have a goal? Well, the first thing you ought to see is this. You have a goal whether you recognize it or not. All right? You do have a goal. Even if you can't articulate it, even if you can't fill in that blank, you are already operating with a goal.

That woman in the store had a goal for her child. Even though that pastor wasn't thinking about it, he wanted to achieve something. And even if you already operating with a goal whether you recognize it or not so don you think it better to be able to articulate where do I want to go with my kids than to just go through life without one And if you don think through and articulate or be able to communicate what that goal is you will adopt a goal You will adopt a goal from some influential person.

You'll adopt a goal from the culture around you. Purposely or unwittingly, you will have a goal, okay? You will have a goal. So you have one whether you recognize it or not. So the question is, as I look at the scriptures, what should that goal be? Here's another reason why you should have a goal.

A goal directs your choices as you raise your children. If you want a son who's going to be coordinated, learning athletic skills that you think will help him later in life. In other words, you know, a lot of us say, well, you know, athletics are good for teaching skills that are good later in life, and that may be true, but if that's what you really want for your son, you'll choose to skip church so that he can play in the tournament.

That will affect your choices. If you think it's important that your daughter be attractive to boys and popular, you might go along with her buying the blouse that goes down to here and the skirt that's slid up to there. You may not even, okay, that's not even going to register with you. That's not going to be a problem with you if that's kind of what you're thinking is important for her.

If your goal for your daughter is that she learn to understand life from God's perspective, then you're going to make different choices. If you value godliness above athletic prowess, then your choices are going to reflect that. And the choices you make teach your children what's important to you. All right? The choices that you make teach your children what's important to you.

So you need to have a goal because whether you can actually write it down or whether you're just operating with a goal that you're not even sure of, you're still operating with a goal, and that goal is going to direct your choices. That will always tell you what you're going to do. That will always tell you what choices you make. That's just the way it works.

If your son never has to give up a tournament for the Lord's sake, then don't be surprised if he doesn't attend church with you when he gets older. See Don be surprised at that Now here a real important reason Having a goal helps you in the long run Alright? It helps you in the long run. Because if you have a goal in mind, then when the trials and the hard times come, you'll be able to see past the trials and the hard times and you'll be able to know what you want to accomplish through those trials and through those hard times.

If you don't have a goal, you won't see that. And the only thing that's going to be on your mind is just getting through. All right? It's just getting through. But with a goal, you see past the trials and the hard times. Listen to what Paul Tripp says in his book, Age of Opportunity.

You cannot expect that when the moment is tense and the emotions are high, you will be able to think clearly, biblically, and concretely. You have to enter these times with your children with a pre-commitment to a concrete set of goals. You see what he's saying there? Listen, understand this. even in the most Christian home, you still have people fighting against the flesh, the world, and the devil, right?

All right. So you ought to expect that there are going to be times that are going to be tense. There are going to be times that are going to be difficult with your children. There's going to be those kinds of things that are happening. Unless you're committed to a goal, all right, in those intense emotional times, unless you're committed to a goal, it's going to be very hard to get through those.

You're not going to know what to do. But with a goal in mind, you know exactly what you need to accomplish in that tense situation. What am I after here? Am I after a son who's just compliant or do I have something else in mind? That's going to make a difference in those very difficult times. and you're going to have those times count on it we live in an imperfect world right and even if all your kids are Christians there's going to be battles okay of course if you're in a pastor's home that doesn't happen right My daughter's down here chuckling.

All right? So, having a goal helps you in the long run. All right? Pursuing a goal equips your children for life. It equips them for life. This is what one of the things that we're after is, equipping them to live life in a way that pleases God in this sin-cursed world.

If I have a goal, I'll be able to equip them. If I don't have a goal that I can articulate, that I can actually know where I'm going, if that doesn't happen, I'm not going to equip them. I'm not going to be prepared to equip them to live life. Okay? And so pursuing a goal equips your children for life. And then one last thing.

Turn to Hebrews 12. This is a good template for us. Hebrews 12 is a good template because here it's talking about our Heavenly Father's relationship with us. and it tells us about his discipline of us. And if this is the way our Heavenly Father treats us, then this is probably, wouldn't you agree, this is probably a good template to use when we're raising our kids.

How has our Heavenly Father raised us? That should be the model that we use. Let's follow along. You follow along as I read Hebrews 12, starting in verse 4. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastises every son whom he receives. It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons, for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, of which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? Note, for they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good. What is that good? That we may share in his holiness. For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who been trained by it Here why we ought to have a goal for our children It the way God operates with us If that the way God operates with us then that the way we should operate with our children What a better model for us than the way our Heavenly Father treats us.

So here are some reasons then why you ought to have a goal. We could probably come up with more. But there's a real reason why that needs to be happening. why you need to be thinking about that. Well, what are some of the common goals that you find today? Looking around, watching what's going on, even looking at your own life, what are some of the goals that we have today?

Well, I want my child to be a success. Okay? I want my child to be a success. I want my child to have it better than me. I want my child to live a more comfortable life than me. All right?

I want my child to have a happy, comfortable life where they don't have to scrap and scrape for everything they need. I want them to have a comfortable life. You know, it's interesting. My mother-in-law has an interesting perspective. And her perspectives are always interesting, I have to tell you that. But Bonnie has interesting perspectives on life.

And one of the things that she said, you remember, oh, I don't know, it's been about a decade now, Tom Brokaw came out with a book called The Greatest Generation, right, about these people that survived and made it through the Great Depression and then fought World War II. My mother-in-law says, greatest generation, my foot. They weren't so great. And now I think she has a point.

You know why? What happened in the 60s? Our life was turned upside down. Our culture has never been the same since the 60s when everything was turned upside down. The sexual revolution, the wholesale disrespect of authority and now we have a culture that absolutely worships youth that says if you get to be 56 or older you're washed out you've got old ideas, forget you instead of saying those people are wise they've lived life all that's happened because of the 60s why did that happen in the 60s? here's my mother-in-law's perspective because her generation came out of the Great Depression saying, I don't want my kids to ever have to suffer any deprivation at all.

And so they gave them everything they possibly could and they made life as easy as they could and they did everything so that they would never ever ever have to go through what they went through Now, that's an interesting perspective, but that's the perspective of a lot of people today. I want my child to be a success. I want them to have it better than me.

I don't want them to have to so-and-so and this and that and the other thing. And so do you think then that orients people a certain way towards the way that they raise their children? Right? It's interesting as when the boys were involved in wrestling and we got close with Coach Jamie, it was just interesting that some parents thought, as you talk to coaches, it's interesting, talk to coaches and you hear a lot of people saying this, people don't want me to coach their kid.

They want me to facilitate their dreams. I want my kid to be a success. and so coach, you've got to play them so much and you've got to do this. Coach, what's wrong with you? Instead of wanting me to coach, they want me to make their kids a success. Even if the kid has no athletic ability, right? If you want your child to be a success, that's going to affect the way you deal with them, all right?

I want them to live a happy, comfortable life. I want my child to be well-adjusted, all right? I don't want them to have any problems. And you know what? it breaks my heart too when my kids are going through difficult times and they don't seem well adjusted and they don't seem to be handling things right that's hard isn't it but if that becomes the end all and I just want them to be well adjusted well adjusted by who's standard what does that mean okay if that's what you want it's going to affect the way you parent I want my child to get by this usually becomes the goal for our children when we haven't thought ahead about what we want them to be when they leave home if we haven't thought from here to when they're leaving what do I want to happen in their lives when they leave home what do I want them to be like if I haven't thought that far ahead then this essentially becomes the goal and just get by and the pace of life is so hectic that all we do is try to get our kids over the next hump alright the next crisis the next big thing we got to get you through 9th grade we got to get you through the tests now we got to get you to graduate it just getting by whatever coming up just get them through You don think long range And so you just help them prepare for the proficiency exams or get their homework done for tomorrow or to get them to the next activity.

Whatever the case may be, you're not thinking long range. You're just getting by. And frankly, that's the goal of a lot of people. I just want my kids to get by. All right? How about this one?

Now that looks good, doesn't it? Doesn't that look good? I want my child who's well behaved. That sounds good, but if you cut that off from a biblical understanding or a goal to serve Christ's kingdom, this just becomes a classy way of manipulating people. You're not equipping them, you're manipulating them. You're not trying to equip them for life.

You just want them not to embarrass you. You're not after equipping them to live life. You just want control, okay? Or, this sounds good too. I want my child to have a good education. I want them to be well educated.

I want them to have a good education. Again, that seems to be a thing that drives so many parents today, that just drives them. I want my kid to go to college. I want my kid to have all these things, just to be well-educated. Why? Why?

I mean, I think education is good. I do. You know, I want my kids to know things as well, but you know what I want? I want character, right? There's a lot of well-educated criminals out there. There's a lot of well-educated people who are perverted in so many ways.

Do I just want a well-educated kid? I want a child I can control. That's what I want. I want a child I can control. Or I want a child who is going to be compliant. now again this is the ditch that many of us as christian parents can fall into all right we want to control everything about our kids because we're afraid of the big bad world out there The problem with that is that when they leave, they're not prepared for the big bad world out there.

And some parents just want to control everything because they don't like change. Now, you know, as I've, I don't know, done these family series periodically every four or five years here at LaRue Baptist Church, I started these series when I was a young dad and had a bunch of young kids, and I would tell you, you know, you need to get them ready to be independent, and I'm still convinced of that, but I found out that's hard. I don't know if I like them being independent so much because that breaks up the fun family times we've had over all these years.

When one of our kids starts talking about moving to Colorado or something, tears are usually shortly behind that kind of an announcement. But you know what? You can't control. And all you want is a child who's compliant. That works as long as you're bigger and stronger and smarter. But what happens when they become bigger and stronger and smarter?

It doesn't work anymore. Some parents have an idolatrous lust for control or for compliance. And so we've got to be very careful of that. Now, you ask, how do I know what's my goal? If you want to know your goals, if you want to examine yourself, then look at the attitudes and actions you have with your children now. Say, I'm not sure what my goal is.

You start looking at how you're reacting or how you're interacting with your children and look at that carefully and that will tell you what kind of goals you have. All right? Think about that. In fact, I hope you don't have to think about it too long because let's now look at the Bible and see what God has to say should be our goal. What are gospel goals?

What's God's goal for our children? Let's look at some of the biblical foundations for God's goal for our children. You've got them in those little boxes. I've arranged that so as you put all those together, it should come out with what's a good goal, what can we think about in terms of our children. Now the first thing I have to say is the first scripture reference there is a misprint.

I saw this after I'd run all of those copies off and thought, I can waste all that paper so it Matthew 5 Matthew 5 not Matthew 15 All right let look at someone read for us, someone, who will read Matthew 5.16? All right, Greg, Matthew 5.16, Josh, Philippians 1.20. These are two, at least what I think are two very important passages that give us the foundation for everything in life, okay?

Matthew 5.16, we're all going to know. It's very familiar. Go ahead, Greg. All right. I want to live in such a way that people see my good deeds, notice, see your good deeds, but they don't talk about you. Who do they talk about?

They talk about your father in heaven. They look at you and say, God's a reality in your life. Look at what God has done in that person's life. We are to glorify God. Now, Philippians 1.20, here's the background. The Apostle Paul is waiting for a hearing before the most powerful man in the world, the Roman Emperor, who's going to determine whether he lives or whether he dies.

And I think that if that was me, I would be on the telephone saying, get me the best defense lawyer you can because I certainly don't want to die. But listen to what he says in that situation. Philippians 1.20. Josh, I don't know what version you got. Yeah, I do. Pick it up where the sentence starts.

All right. Here's the Apostle Paul. facing death. And he says, you've all heard me preach this before, I know, but I love this verse. He says, I'm not the most important thing. I'm not the central character in this drama. It's not about me.

It's about Jesus. If I live, what do I want them to see? Jesus. If I die, what do I want them to see? Jesus. What happens to me is not important.

Whether they kill me or whether they let me live, that's not important. The only thing that's important is that they see Jesus. By the way, this is a great goal for parents as well. Alright? So, what do we say? Okay We to glorify God We to magnify Christ Alright So that got to be part of where I headed with my kids All right Psalm 73 25 and 26 Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire beside you. My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion. That is my treasure forever. All right? What incredible words to say that I don't want anything else but God. God, you've given me all these great gifts, but I want you.

I don't want just the gifts. I really want the giver. I want you. Psalm 63, and we won't look it up right now, but Psalm 63 is a psalm that was written by David after Absalom chased him out of Jerusalem, after Absalom took over the throne. David's out in the desert. And what does he say?

He says words like this in Psalm 63. I hunger and thirst for God. When can I go to God? And he says, I lay all night on my bed and I think about God. All right? All these things.

So what's the point? The point is, I want them to find pleasure in God. I want them to see that God has given himself to us for our pleasure, that we have been called what? As the catechism says, what's the chief end of man? This is the first question in the Westminster Shorter Catechism. What is the end of man?

What's the chief end of man? Answer, the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. All right? And John Piper has done a really good thing. He says that little word and, does that mean like I want to glorify God and if I can't enjoy him? No.

How do I glorify God? I glorify God by enjoying Him. When my whole world collapses and I still enjoy God, what's going on? I'm glorifying God. So I want them to find pleasure in God. Matthew 28, 18 through 20, what is that?

What is it? Very good, the Great Commission. And what does the Great Commission tell us? Your turn. Christ is all authority, and so He tells us to do what? Go into all nations and make disciples.

And what are disciples? Okay what does it say in Matthew 20 18 through 20 Make disciples doing two things Baptizing them and teaching them to obey Disciples are people who translate truth into life So here's another part of my goal. I want them to be disciples of Jesus. Now, this is important, is it not? I don't want them just to be compliant children.

I don't want them to just do everything so I can just... You know, before I had kids, I had this really cool goal, and that was I'd be able to just look at my kids a certain way, and they'd obey just like that. I never thought that if I looked at kids a certain way, they'd return the look. I never thought that would happen. All right? But you know what?

That's a lousy goal. I want kids that will just obey me without question. Oh, that's what we think is Christian, but I want them to be more than that. I want them to be followers of Jesus. I want them to love Jesus. I want them to give their lives for him.

That's much greater. Isn't that a greater goal than just I want my kids to do whatever I tell them when I tell them? Right? And you know what? We Christians too often fall into that and thinking as long as we bring the rod to bear and get them to obey, wow, what a great testimony. It goes beyond that, doesn't it?

Hebrews 12, 10 and 11. You remember we were just there? Hebrews 12, 10 and 11 says this, For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he, that is our heavenly Father, disciplines us for our good. What is that good that we may, note, share his holiness. Verse 11, For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later he yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who've been trained by it.

God disciplines us then so that we will be holy and righteous. And I want you to notice something there, that the fruit of righteousness is peace. The peaceful fruit of righteousness. When I'm acting righteous, there's peace. When I'm ordering my life in conformity to the commandments of my God and my Savior, you will experience peace. All right?

So I want holiness and righteousness, and you could even put peace in there. All right? That's what I want. Let's look at Proverbs 1, verses 1 through 4. Someone read Proverbs 1. One through four.

Hang on, Seth. We'll come to questions in a little bit. Oh, you want to read it? I'm sorry, Seth. I should have known that. Read it nice and loud for us.

All right. Thank you, Seth. All right. But here we find, I want them to live a prudent and disciplined life with the ability to do what is right and just and fair. All right? Proverbs is a book written so that children, sons, will learn wisdom.

And wisdom is prudence. It's discretion. It's knowing to do what is right and just and fair. In other words, wisdom. I want them to learn. I want them to be wise.

Okay? I want them to be wise. Okay. 2 Peter 1, verses 3 and 4. Who read that for us? 2 Peter 1, 3 and 4.

Okay, Steve. All right. All I need for life and godliness is found in my knowledge of Jesus. Through the knowledge of Jesus is communicated power for transformation and change. All right. and there are promises that will help me escape the corruption of this world. And so what I want is then the ability to handle God word for life so that they know how to know Jesus in his word They will know how to handle the word of God so that they will be able to handle life That's what I want.

And so everything, and so part of my goal then is they have the ability to go to the word of God and to find answers for themselves. That's what I want to happen in their lives. All right? Now the next one, we have a whole flurry of verses. Matthew 15, I'll read that. Who will read Ezekiel 14, 1 to 6?

Paul. And then Proverbs 4, 23, Jeremy. All right, I will read Matthew 15. You could put in there Mark 7 as well. That's the parallel passage to Matthew 15. Mark 7 may say it in a little shorter compass.

I'm going to shorten it up a bit pick up on Matthew 15 verse 10 the deal is the Pharisees have come and said Jesus you don't do the your disciples your master doesn't do the traditions of the fathers and he said well of course not because that leads you away from God and then he says this because they said if you don't do those things you're defiled Jesus picks it up and says and he called the people to him and said to them, hear and understand, it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a person. Then the disciples came to him and said to him, do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying? He answered, every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up.

Let them alone, they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit. But Peter said to him, explain the parable to us. And he said, are you also still without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.

For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone. Jesus is making the point. If you see sin on the outside, it didn't start there. It started on the inside.

It started in the heart. Something's going on in the heart. That's what started that sin. Okay? Ezekiel 14 1 to 6 Paul going to read it Here are the Israelites are in captivity because they have been idolatrous and God says because you served other gods you going to go into captivity. And history tells us that after the Babylonian captivity, the Israelites were committed monotheists, that Jewish people from that point on were committed monotheists, or so it seems.

But Ezekiel tells us something different. In fact, Ezekiel will tell you right now that you aren't a committed monotheist as much as you think either. Paul. of me at all. Therefore, speak to them and tell them to do what the Son of the Lord says. For any afterlife that I may be part of which is a good coming of God before I take the name of his prophet, I will also end my self-impeachment to be great at God.

I will be the chapter on the kingdom of Israel through all the years of my life. Therefore, I say to God, Where are their idols? In their hearts. They have idols in their hearts. Okay? By the way, why don't you add this to that box, James 1, verses 13 through 15.

James 1, 13 through 15. No one should say when he sins that he's tempted by God, but everyone sins when he is dragged away. He is enticed and dragged away by a desire. And when desire gives birth, it gives birth to sin and sin to death. The idea then, Old Testament talks about idols of the heart. New Testament talks about desires of the heart.

They're kind of complementary pictures. My heart, desires in my heart lead me to sin. Okay, Proverbs 4.23. All right? Keep your heart with all vigilance because out of it comes the springs of life So I want them to have a biblical self I want my children not just to say what does God want me to do I want them to be able to say, what does God want me to think?

What does God want me to desire? What desires are leading me to sin? That they'll be able to look at their own hearts and be able to understand that they haven't just lied, but they lied for a reason. so that they'll look deeper than just the external. See, I want them to have this biblical self-awareness. Now, here's another misprint in your notes, and that is you should have one more box.

I got one more box, and I didn't get it in there. I didn't want to waste the church's money. All right, it's Genesis 2.24. Anybody know what that says? Genesis 2.24. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and shall cling to his wife, and they too shall become one flesh.

Now, I believe that that is not just talking about sexual relations. That's talking about the fact that the covenant of marriage brings us together so that we become one person. We become covenanted companions. alright but what I want you to note is the first part of that and that is for this reason the man will leave his mother and his father there's the positive goal of independence I want them to be independent of me now there's something real nice about children who don't do anything without checking with me first well that really makes me feel important but that's not what God has.

God wants them to be able to think and to be on their own so that when they leave here, they're serving God because they want to. And they're able to do it without me, at least in the sense of being over them as a father and so forth. All right? So let's put all that together. Let's put it all together. What's God's goal?

I want my children to glorify God and enjoy God by becoming independent followers of Jesus who love God, handle His Word profitably, live a prudent, disciplined life, and who understand themselves biblically. All right? Now, when I was a young dad, I had this all memorized simply as this. This is what was always ringing in my head with my children. I want my children to be godly, independent disciples who love God and who handle life by handling his word.

That was ringing in my head all the time. I want my children to be independent, godly disciples who enjoy God and who handle life by handling his word. Okay, that might be simpler than this one. But if you want to even put it simpler, okay, I want them then to be equipped for life. That's what I'm doing. I am equipping them for life.

Now, understand, that's in relationship to everything we've said. Not just equipping them to be a good worker and make a good living. When I say equipping them for life, I mean equipping them to live in a world in a way that pleases God. All right? So, this is what I'm after. This is what's constantly ringing in my head. this is what as a parent always has to be in my mind okay and can I say this and God was very gracious to me God was very gracious to me in bringing people into my life that taught me these things in 1986 when my children were very small and I can tell you for a fact that from that point on I had a goal in my head all the time.

I'm always asking the question. Or I'm always saying, I want my children to be independent godly disciples who love and enjoy God and handle life by handling His Word. That constantly was ringing in my head. Okay? Question is, are we serious about that goal? Are we serious about that?

Listen to Ted Tripp. This is really interesting. And I love what he says here. So listen carefully. I think this really says a lot to us We pander to our children desires and wishes We teach them to find their soul delight in going places and doing things We attempt to satisfy their lust for excitement. We fill their young lives with distractions from God.

We give them material things and take delight in their delight in their possessions. Then we hope that somewhere down the line, they will see that a life worth living is found only in knowing and serving God. You hear what he says? We give them all kinds of stuff. We give them all kinds of excitement. We do all these things.

We pander to their desires, and then we say we want them to love and serve God. If you're really serious about this, then the content of everyday life has to fit that goal. The content of everyday life has to be organized around that goal, not anything else. Let me put it this way, okay? That means that everything you do with your children, for your children, and to your children must serve this goal. you say wait a minute are you serious Pastor Tim I want to take my kids to the zoo I want to have fun going to the zoo but if what you're saying is true then the zoo's out right no the question is why do you want to take your kids to the zoo and have a good time I'll tell you why I want to I want them to have a good time so they see that their dad isn't just a grumpy old man I want to take them to the zoo and have a fun, fun time with them so that we develop a relationship, so that there is something there so that when they get to be 16, they'll still want to talk to me.

You see? And I'll still be able to guide them and direct them. Everything you do with your children, for your children, are you going to buy them this thing or not? Well, what do you want to accomplish with that? Are you just trying to, maybe you buy them something because you feel guilty. Is that right?

That's not a good goal. Maybe I want to buy this thing because I want them to just love me more. Is that the way to love? Is that going to serve the goal You see you got to be thinking everything that you do with your children for your children and to your children has to serve that goal Well I can say that strong enough folks You say, well, how do I know when to discipline my kids or not?

Well, ask yourself this. If I let this go on, is it going to develop in them a habit of behavior and thinking that will keep them from reaching that goal? So I come home. It's been a long night. Let's just say I come home for supper and I get this call and I've got to get to the hospital. I go to the hospital.

I'm there until 3 o'clock in the morning. I come home. And because of some things that I've got to do the next day, I've got to be up at 7 in the morning. So I've got three hours of sleep. And I go and I spend the time at the office and I come home. And the only thing I have in mind is I want peace and quiet.

And I walk in the door, and there are three boys jumping on each other. Now, the first thing in my mind is, Ah! Stop it, or I'm going to spank you! Right? But then I have to ask this question. Are they doing something right now that's going to keep them from achieving that goal?

And the answer is no. Boys are meant to jump on each other. Well, they are. And so you just say, you know what? I cannot discipline them right now because they're not doing something that's going to keep them from reaching that goal. And my discipline has to be oriented towards what?

That goal. So just cool it, man. If you have to, go upstairs and lock yourself away. But don't get on your kids. Suppose they're running and jumping on each other in the hallway after church when the old people are trying to leave. That's another story now, isn't it?

Because why? I want them to learn Philippians chapter 2, which says what? It says, put others' interests above your own. Right? Put others' interests above your own. Now, what they're doing now is teaching them that what I want to do now is the most important thing.

It doesn't matter about anybody else. So now I'm going to say, I need to get on them about that. Why? Why? Because if I don't, this is going to develop a habit of thinking what I want to do right now is the most important thing. And it not Why The interests of others are more important Philippians chapter 2 You see what I driving at here Everything you do with your children for your children and to your children have to be aimed at that goal.

Now, it also says something else. It says that there has to be a relationship. See, everything I do with my kids, I want to use it to build this relationship because everything flows out of relationship. Everything flows out of relationship. Can I tell you something? When the boys were wrestling, Sunday mornings oftentimes were miserable for me.

God's grace was great in those days because they would wrestle in a tournament, and Jeremy remembers those days because he wrestled with the boys. Tournaments would start Friday night after school, and they would go Saturday night until 11 o'clock, and sometimes those tournaments were far away. So the boys would get home to the high school about 12 or 1 in the morning, and then they'd want to talk. because after you've been jumping on other people all night long, your adrenaline's pumping, and they would want to talk.

And so we'd sit around and talk. I wanted to go to bed. Why in the world did you do that? Because I wanted to build a relationship with them. I wanted them to know they could talk to their dad. Why do I want them to know that?

Because I want that relationship, because out of that relationship is going to come the ability to speak to them about things in their lives. See? See, I've listened to them. Now maybe they'll listen to me. You see? And you know what?

I'm accused of this. Can I just back off from it? Here's a sidelight, a footnote. It has nothing to do with this lecture. I get a lot of grief about the fact that I talk more about the boys than my girls. Okay?

You know, we go home on Sundays and they just, you know, you know what it's like to have your sermons reviewed every week. You know, I don't give the girls enough press time, okay? They had their issues too, and we'll get to those. I promise, girls, we'll get to those as we go through this series. All right? It's a whole set of other things, man.

But anyway, anyway. By the way, boys or girls, the goal doesn't change. The goal does not change. Even though they are entirely different. Okay? And I'm so glad we had the boys first.

Because it's nice to have girls in your old age. Okay? But the goal is still the same. Boys or girls, it is still the same. All right? And so everything you do with your children, for your children, to your children, has to be aimed at that goal.

All right? So what really is your goal for your children? If you want to know, simply ask these questions. What would make you happiest as a parent? What would make you happiest as a parent? Is it a kid who's a success?

The kid who goes to Harvard? The kid who everybody thinks is a terrific athlete? Why would people rejoice in the birth of our children? What is your measure of greatness? You know what? One of the passages of Scripture that really struck me as a young dad was this one found in Luke 1, verses 14 and 15, where the angel is talking to Zechariah about his son.

This is about John the Baptist. He will be a joy and a delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will what? Be great in the sight of the Lord. Now that's a goal worth striving for, isn't it? Doesn't that sum it all up? what's going to make me happiest as a parent? Children who are great in the sight of the Lord.

That's got to be my goal. That's what I have to aim for. Not all these other things that intrude these other goals that oftentimes intrude and force me to or determine me in the way I respond this is what I want. This is what I want to happen. Okay? All right.

I promised Seth I'd give you some time for questions. So if you have any questions, fire away. All right. Glenna? What I had going through my mind? I want children who will be independent, godly disciples who...

How about if I just say it five times? I want children who will be independent, godly disciples who love and enjoy God and who handle life by handling God's word. Okay? That's the simpler version. Okay. All right.

Now, of course, we'll try to flesh all these out more and more as we go. If that's my goal, then that's going to determine how I respond, how I see my role as a parent and how do I respond to my children and all those sorts of things. Okay, well let's stand then. We'll be dismissed in prayer. Father, thank you for your word. Thank you for the gospel which gives us all that we need.

We would ask now that you would bless this as we continue. Help us so that your name will be honored and glorified. We'll thank you in Jesus' name. Amen. Thank you.