Gospel Powered Discipline Part 2

Well, let's pray, shall we? Father, thanks again that we can be here together. Help us to think through and look into your word and to understand what you would have us to when it comes to raising our children. We thank you for your word, which is sufficient to tell us all that we need. Father, we ask for forgiveness for not going there, but seeking out other sources of wisdom to our hurt and to the hurt of your glory. help us now to be convinced that your word has what we need to raise godly children and to be godly parents help us we pray in jesus name amen pastor one day while talking to one of the men his congregation asked tell me about your communication with your son and the man responded oh we talk okay just last night he told me he wanted a bicycle and i told him to eat his beans that probably describes communication between parents.

And that's sad. Moms and dads tell their children what to do and kids tell their parents their dreams and wishes. And sadly, Proverbs 18, verse 2, often describes our communication as parents. It says this, A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. Several years ago, someone pointed that verse out to me and it just cut me to the heart.

It's one of those times, you know, when you think of how God brings great conviction to your heart. That one time just really like a knife to my heart because it said that describes me. I'm a fool who finds no pleasure in understanding what my kids are going through and what they're thinking, but I sure want to tell them what I think and what they ought to do.

And the Scriptures indicate that we have to live a life of communication with our children if we are going to reach the goal that God has given us, real thumbnail sketch. What's the goal God wants for us? God wants us to raise godly, independent disciples who love God and serve God by handling life and handling his word. And that's where I want my kids to be when they leave home.

And everything I do to my kids, with my kids, for my kids is to be towards that goal. We reach that goal. If we look at, let's look at Ephesians chapter six, verse four, which gives us in a small compass how we ought to raise our kids. in Ephesians 6.4 it says to us, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Fathers you responsible Don bring them up so they live angry lifestyles but rather bring them up to reach that goal on two tracks The rails have two tracks One is discipline one is instruction Discipline is not enough and instruction is not enough. You've got to have both, both rails of the track in order to reach the goal that God has for our children. We want to begin talking.

We've spent the last couple of weeks talking about discipline. And now we want to talk about instruction. And I want to lay the groundwork by talking about communication first and understanding about how we need to communicate with our children. And so this is going to be composing part of that second track then. God says that you need to understand the purpose of communication.

What is the purpose of communication? Why should I be doing it? All right. Let's look at Proverbs 18. We want Proverbs 18 verses 13 and 15 and then Proverbs 20 verse 5. Okay.

Someone read Proverbs 18 verse 13 and 15. Susan. All right. Here it says he who answers before listening, that's his folly and his shame. How many of us are foolish and shameful parents because we're always spouting off before we listen, before we get some facts? And then verse 15, the heart of the discerning is going to acquire knowledge.

If I have a heart that wants to be discerning, I have to acquire facts. I have to seek it out. I have to seek knowledge out. out. Amanda, would you read Proverbs 20? Did I sign Proverbs 20 verse 5? Amanda, why don't you read that for us?

All right. The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters. Okay. We all know he's drawing a picture of our purposes are deep within us. And a man of understanding is going to draw them out. And so as a parent, I want to draw those out.

I want to understand my children's purposes. So what's the purpose of communication? To understand your children, for one thing. I want to be someone who understands his children And the way I going to do that is to listen I going to be a wise person that seeks out knowledge I going to be a wise person who draws out the purposes of a man heart of my children heart Your objective in communication is not merely to express your thoughts, but to draw out the thoughts of your children. the objective of communication is not just to tell your children how you feel and what you think they ought to be doing it's try to understand what's going on inside of them communication is not monologue it's dialogue now i'm not talking about talking with your children about whether or not what you're going to do i'm going to spank you and getting in a dialogue about whether that's right or wrong it's not what we're talking about here we're talking about in the everyday life Do you communicate with your children in such a way that you understand their hearts, that you're getting to those purposes, that you're drawing them out?

Because you remember, behavior is not the main issue, it's their hearts. What's motivating them? What's driving what they're doing? I know I told this story before, but there's a guy who, they go out and they're out shopping with the kids and they buy him sneakers and they come home and the oldest son is just moping about his sneakers. and the first thing dad says is, what's wrong with you?

Well, I don't like these sneakers. Well, that's just being ungrateful. You're ungrateful. You know what? God says you ought to be thankful. In fact, let me tell you something.

1 Thessalonians 5, verse 18 says, Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Now, that's what you ought to be doing. He doesn't take the time, but if he took the time, he might find out this. He doesn't like the sneakers, because any kid who wears those sneakers at school is considered a real geek, a dweeb, whatever the word is now.

Okay? And so the problem isn't that he's not grateful. The problem is he's afraid of what other people think. Now, if he'd taken time to talk to his son and draw out his heart, he would have found that out and would be able to come alongside his son and help him say, Now, son, listen, the fear of man is a trap. That would be more appropriate than give thanks in all circumstances.

Okay? So you want to draw them out. The behavior you see reflects the abundance of a child's heart, what's going on in his heart. So you have to understand what's happening in his heart. So when your child sins you have an opportunity to learn of his struggle with sin and help them develop and to help them And you need to develop skill in probing their hearts in probing their hearts The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge The ears of the wise seek it out You know, typically we do things like this.

Why did you hit your sister? I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? I don't know. We've got to develop skill and draw it. You're asking questions.

When you ask a question like that, You're asking your son a question and he doesn't understand. He doesn't know because he doesn't understand the workings of his heart. You need to be involved in his life so you can help him understand his own heart. We do not naturally know our own hearts. We need the searchlight of scripture to know our hearts. So I'm going to draw out my children.

I'm going to acquire some wisdom in how to draw out the purposes of his heart. Communication is two-way. I'd use it to understand my children. Okay? Man, I think it's really important. When I started learning this, it just changed the way I responded to my kids.

Of course, sometimes they thought I was a grand inquisitor. You know, I'd ask questions. Well, what happened? This happened. What did you think? Well, I thought this.

Well, what was going on? You know. But I'd rather be that way than the other way. You need to know communication. You need to communicate. The purpose of it is to impart God's truth to the heart.

You not only understand their hearts, but you communicate God's answers for their struggles. So you shepherd their hearts. You're after their hearts. You want to win them for Christ. You want to win them so that they understand Jesus and understand what he requires. And they understand how to obey.

And they understand the new birth. All those sorts of things. But you need the purpose of communication then is to impart God's truth to the heart. To understand them. draw them out, and then to impart the appropriate truth. All right? Now, you need to learn and use various types of communication.

Okay? What kind should we use? Well, communication should be varied, fit for different needs. All right? Now, let's face it, dads, most of us only know one way of communication, and that is I'm going to tell my kid what he ought to do, period. we need to have various ways of communication I love 1 Thessalonians 5 verse 14 let's look at it together 1 Thessalonians 5 this is talking about how to deal with folks in the church.

It says, and we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. Now, do you see, for people that are idle, you admonish them, okay, you warn them, you admonish, you come alongside and say, you need to get busy. But we need to encourage the faint-hearted. Those are the kind of people that we use a different kind of communication for.

We need to help the weak. We certainly need to be patient with them all. But the point that you see here is that as we help people, we don't use the same way of communication. There are different conditions in the here that require different forms of speaking. Okay, so here's your son. He's a disheveled seven-year-old and you need to talk to him about his appearance, but you'd be wrong to rebuke him because he needs instruction, not rebuke.

He doesn't. He's not rebelling. He's not rebelling. You know? Now some of you have your children combing their hair and getting all gussied up when they're four. Some of us are a little late in coming on that.

But the point is, the kids, he may be disheveled because he... You know, come on. Those of you who have boys, you know how it is. They come in, they've got dirt all over their face. You say, go wash up. And they go, why?

Right? And they're not being rebellious. They just don't get it. So that's not a time to rebuke. It's a time to instruct. All right?

So, you know, too often we just have one form of communication. You give your children the rules. When they break the rules, you correct them. And then there's the punishment phase. There's got to be different ways. Romans 15, 13.

Someone read that for us. Romans 15, 13. Let's look at some different ways of communication that we find in the Bible. Okay? Someone read that out loud. Quickly.

Okay? Romans 15, 13 talks about encouragement. It talks about God giving us hope. Children need communication designed to give them hope You know why Because everybody needs hope They need to understand that God draws near to the brokenhearted and contrite and that Christ came to change sinful needy people Our children need to understand the promises of God.

They need hope. All right. Children are no different than you and me. You go to work every day because there's some sort of hope. It doesn't matter what the punishment would be, if you didn't have some kind of hope, you wouldn't do it. All right?

They need hope. We all need hope. Our children need hope. They need to understand that the world is not in a bunch of random events happening to them. As we teach them the sovereignty of God, they have hope. As we talk to them about the promises of God, they have hope.

All right? 2 Timothy 3, 16 and 17. That one tells us, we all know that one, the Word of God and all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, convicting, correcting, and training in righteousness that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. Our children need correction at times. We need correction. Correction tells one that he is wrong and tells him what he has to do to correct the problem.

Correction gives your children insight into what is wrong and how they can conform to God's standard. I think there's a progression in 2 Timothy 3.16. First, there's the teaching. You find out what God says. Then there's conviction. That is, I'm convicted, not I feel bad, but I know that what I've done is wrong.

I know I'm wrong. And then correction is where God teaches you, it knocks you down. Correction is picking you up and dusting you off. Telling you what to do about it. And the last thing is training in righteousness. That is, it gives you the steps to take to stay on that route.

Correction tells them what to do about it now. Not just you've done wrong, but now what can you do about it? What's the right thing to do? How can you do that? Okay? Revelation chapter 3, verse 19.

This is Jesus talking to one of the churches in Revelation. Revelation 3.19 Is that interesting Those I love I rebuke and discipline Our children need rebuke Rebuke censures behavior Sometimes our children have to experience our sense of alarm our shock our dismay at what they done or said Sometimes what your children do requires a stern rebuke from you. All right?

Now here's, turn to Isaiah 65. Here's one that I think we oftentimes, especially in our sovereign grace, Calvinistic kind of backgrounds, we forget about these kinds of passages. Isaiah 65, verses 1 and 2. I was ready to be sought by those who did not ask for me. I was ready to be found by those who did not seek me. I said, here am I, here am I, to a nation that was not called by my name.

I spread out my hands all the day to a rebellious people who walk in a way that is not good, following their own devices. Do you see? Here is a picture of God. Here is a picture of God entreating someone. He says, I hold out my hands to you all day long. Here's God.

This is how God pictures himself. Yes, our sovereign God is in control of everything. he pictures himself of standing there like this and saying, why don't you come to me? I love you. Why don't you come to me? I'm not going to turn you away, right? And that's the way we need to be.

This is a communication that's earnest and intense, and it involves pleading, soliciting, urging, even begging in the right kind of way. Now, it's not the begging of a beggar, but rather the pleading of a father or mother who understands his child, the ways of God and the extremity of the moment. Who pleads with his child earnestly to act in wisdom and faith.

Dads, we need to plead with our sons about the dangers of pornography, right? Proverbs 23, 26, my son, give me your heart, right? Dads do you talk to your kids that way son give me your heart right I plead with you don do this it wrong I plead with you because if you go down that path it will be misery for you And I don want that to happen All right Guys sometimes are way too proud to plead God wasn Entreaty is a form of communication that we can use.

Of course, there's one that's clear that we know all the way from scripture is instruction. It's the process of providing a lesson, a precept, information that will help your child. Here's how I always have my, here's my shorthand way of saying, Help your child understand himself, his God, and his world. I want my children to understand himself. What makes him tick?

I want him to understand God, and I want him to understand the world in which he lives. So I'm going to instruct them in the ways of God, in the ways of himself, and the ways of the world. Because our children have large gaps in their understanding of life, and they need a framework from which to understand life. I remember when my own son Calvin started working for a roofing crew.

He and Levi worked for a roofing crew all the way through their college years. And I can still remember Calvin coming home and talking about the absolute hopelessness that he saw and how he understood that now. He'd had all his whole life living at home, not out there in a big bad world, but saying, it's really bad out there. It's hopeless. And him coming, I'll never forget him coming home and saying, man, these guys are hopeless.

The only thing they do is they work their tails off, burning their backs, putting on a roof, so that they get drunk on the weekend. What a life. So you give them those bits of understanding to fill in those gaps of their understandings and so forth. There's warning. We need to use warning. Life presents many dangers and warnings put us on guard regarding the probability of danger.

It alerts us to danger while there's still time to escape unharmed. We need to warn our kids. Here are some Proverbs, if you want to just jot them down. Proverbs 12, 24. Laziness ends in slave labor. That's a warning.

Here's another warning. Proverbs 13, 18. He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame. How about Proverbs 16, 18? Pride goes before destruction. Proverbs 15.

One, a harsh word stirs up anger. All those are warnings. You can find warnings all over the scriptures. That's what we need to use with our kids. We need to warn them. And one of the most powerful ways you can warn your children is to fill their heads with warnings from the Bible.

Just like those proverbs I've read. Fill them with warnings from the Bible. The Bible has all kinds of warnings. Let them know what they are. Talk about them. Okay?

So those are different ways. Now, I don't think we've exhausted all the ways of communication that the Bible has. But at least that will give you a picture of the fact that there's more than one way of communicating with our kids. I tell you what to do, you do it, or else you get a spanking. Or you get disciplined in some fashion. All right?

That's not how God treats us. And there's all kinds of examples of different ways of communication that we can use. in order to move our children toward the goal that God has for them. Now, you've got to embrace a lifetime of communication. This isn't just something you do periodically. Communication has to become a lifestyle for you. All right?

Deuteronomy chapter 6, verses 4 through 9 makes that absolutely clear. He's talking about a communication that is a lifestyle. Now, most of us know these verses. We go there all the time when we talk about our children and how to raise them. But let's look at them again. Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Okay? You should teach them to your children when you are, teach them diligently, and you should talk about them when you're sitting in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise. And you'll bind them on your hands. They control what you do. It's a metaphorical way. so they're going to control what they do, and between your eyes they control what you think Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates They for the community They for the family They ought to be there all the time Alright You got to commit yourself to a lifetime You've got to commit yourself to a lifetime of communication.

The Bible indicates that communication is a normal part of everyday life with our kids. Communication not only disciplines, but it disciples. communication doesn't just discipline it disciples if we follow the pattern given in deuteronomy 6 you're not only going to talk to your children when they do something wrong you're going to talk to your children as a regular habit of life in your home a regular habit of talking prepares the way for talking when things get strained if you've grown up if you grow up or if you raise your kids and in the habit of talking to them about himself his god and his world and an everyday part of normal life when things get strained you'll still be able to talk all right you begin to understand and plumb the depths of their hearts if that communication is part of everyday life if you're talking about life if you're I don't know, in our home, what we tried to do was just to say, how was school today? It was fine.

Well, tell me what fine means. Well, you know, Dad. No, I don't know. And I bet my kids could tell you what came next. Do you remember? Well, what'd you learn?

Okay, if I were to come to school with you, I'd say this. I've got a camera, and I'm watching you. What are you doing now? I'm getting off the bus. What's next? They used to drive them crazy.

I'm hanging up my coat, Dad. What happens next? You know, I want to know everything that happened. And can I tell you this? One of the best ways of building communication with your children is to spend time around the table. when you're around the table get rid of the television get rid of the radio get rid of everything but what right there you and everybody that is one of the best places ever to build your family and to build a lifetime of communication I dead serious about that That supper table for us was the...

Now my brother, can I tell you this? My brother was the opposite. The table to us, what the table was to us, the car was to them. I mean, my brother as a missionary spent half his life in a car. and as I talked to them and got to I was out with them last May and spending time with them and on Sunday afternoon they say hey let's go for a drive well for a drive for them it's like they live in Denver let's go up into the mountains let's go over here and like that's a four hour trip one way I mean that's what they always did they always go places but they talk all the time so it doesn't have to be the table I guess but find some way of just spending time together.

And then, not just at the table, but going to bed, you're talking to them, so forth. Make it a regular habit. You've got to embrace this, because if you do, then you can shepherd their hearts. With this kind of communication, you'll be able to understand their motivations, their goals, their wants, their lusts of their own hearts. And then you can teach them how their hearts function and God's answers to those desires.

And then you'll be able to take them to the most profound levels of their existence with the gospel. But that's not going to happen. You won't be able to shepherd their hearts. You won't be able to bring the gospel into their hearts if you're not used to communicating with them. It's a lifetime. It's a commitment of a lifetime.

Now, if you do that, it's going to cost you something. Something like that, something that important, comes with a cost. So it's going to require certain things of you. Here's the big one, guys and gals. Ladies and gentlemen, time. This takes a lot of time.

There's just no way around that. If you're going to have a lifetime of communication, it's going to take time. Insightful and penetrating conversations don't happen on the fly. They happen as you spend a lot of time talking. They happen as you spend time together. when you're walking along the way, when you're rising up, when you're going to the store, when you going to the store when you taking them to school when you putting them to bed when you eating breakfast when you eating supper it takes time and you got to make the time And you've got to learn to become a good listener.

You have to listen. Parents, this is where I think we really got to learn. We have to learn to listen. We're so busy, we've got to get so many things done, that we just say, okay, tell me, you know, tell me, okay, this is what you need to do. Now, don't bother me. Get it done.

Instead of trying to listen to our kids, instead of trying to eliminate some of the busyness from our lives so we have time to listen. Don't be like a fool who delights in airing his own opinions but does not delight in understanding. Proverbs 18, 13, he who answers before he listens, that is his folly and his shame. He who answers before he listens, that's his folly and his shame. okay it's going to require it's going to require grace because the physical the physical and spiritual stamina needed for this requires that you ask God for grace okay physically listen and I don't know maybe it was our fault but our kids especially the boys And some of the girls, especially one girl, is a night owl.

And so you've got to maybe spend some time at night. You know, again, like I remember after the wrestling tournaments, it was misery. I needed grace. You know, my friend Dave, Dave Durnland. You know, our missionary Dave Durnland. Now, you want to talk about wrestling.

His boys were wrestling, you know, internationally when they were 15 years old, that kind of stuff. You know, they were really something else. They would drive to Iowa for a wrestling tournament out there when the guys were in high school at some national tournament and then drive back and he'd have to preach in the morning. he told me about times that he would be in hotel rooms in the bathroom at the wee hours of the morning getting his sermon done because he'd spent the entire day with his boys wrestling or talking to them or something about what that and the other thing but it takes a lot of stamina to do that you need to ask for God's grace it requires mental stamina okay The ability to keep your thoughts focused on important matters.

Remember that, yeah, you're talking about everyday things in life, but you always want to be talking about the things of God and how they cross, how they intersect with the things of everyday life. And that's going to require mental stamina, focusing and thinking and so forth. This kind of communication requires integrity with your children. You can't achieve this level of communication without you modeling the dynamics of the Christian life.

You have to be in the habit of repenting and asking your children for forgiveness when you sin against them. And you have to be willing to share the joy and the comfort that you found in your trials. You have to be willing to tell them how you made mistakes. So that they don't get the idea that you lived this perfect life and they're a great disappointment because they just haven't measured up to your standard.

You should tell them about the mistakes you made in your life. But it requires integrity. It requires that you're going to walk with God so that your talking isn't made a lie by your living. Okay? How many children have we lost? How many children have we lost because they saw one person at church and another person at home? think about that I've talked to many many people who who saw one thing at church and another thing at home right now I'm in a book called Growing Up Amish it's written by a guy who left the Amish and one of the things that he makes he says over and over and over again about his father was his father was a very busy man and he always he actually started a magazine for Amish people it's probably still out there and he's always writing and always trying to publish it but he never had time for his family he talks about how his youngest brother Nathan was totally ignored by his dad and one of the themes that's coming through this book as I'm reading through it is I hated this life because my dad might have hoed the rules might have lived by the external rules but when it came to being a dad he just wasn there He just wasn there It requires integrity That why you need the grace of God This kind of communication requires availability.

Availability. You've got to be around. You can't talk with them when you're rising and walking along the way unless you're there. Unless you're there. Now that may mean different things for different people. And I know that we live in a different world.

I know that when you're starting out a new job, you're inevitably going to get third or second shift. Well, then that means that you have to think. You have to start thinking hard about how you're going to be available then. And do whatever it takes to be available. Do what it takes to get the job done of being with your children. Whatever it takes, that's what you're going to do.

You need to be available. This kind of communication means that parenting is your primary task. You know, that means that something, you may not be able to do the things you want to do. It means your house isn't going to look like the ones in the magazines. It may mean, and I'm dead serious about this, it may mean that you're not going to be able to advance your career like you want to. you know sometimes that means uh like moms you're not going to be able to do the things that you want to career-wise if you want to really be something to your children but you know it also means dads dads it may mean you don't get that higher paying job it may mean you say no i'm not going to take that job it'll pay me twice as much but guess what i'll never be home that's too great a cost listen here's my summary of the women's the feminist movement the feminist movement says nothing but this we want to have the right to be as sinful as men have been over the centuries okay you say well we can't have a career why? because we have to look after children what about him? what does the bible say by the way? fathers it addresses fathers doesn't it fathers you're responsible for your kids so sometimes that means you can't pursue the career you want because you got to be available and you got to see that your task of parenting is primary All right we almost done A lifetime of communication produces great blessings.

It produces great blessings. Why? This is the kind of communication that provides the cement that holds you together, relational cement. Children know when they have a relationship with someone who understands them and who loves them and are committed to them to live life to the glory of God. Now, I didn't have enough time to get all this done just right.

But I want you to look at this little chart. This really helped me too as I was a young dad. Because of communication that seeks to understand your kids and provide answers that meet their deepest needs, your influence will grow as your power diminishes. You could put power there for authority. That would be just the same thing. You know, children will not leave home in order to hang out with someone else or become part of a group that understands them if you're making a habit of communicating with them in such a way that you understand them. and if you do and you seek to communicate then your influence will grow as your authority or your power diminishes now by authority i'm talking about the ability to control your child because you're bigger faster smarter than they are okay and guess what that goes down but as the child grows and you can't control him through raw authority and power yet he'll willingly respond to your influence now I can say this because Calvin's not here so I'll tell you this story it was after his I can't remember his sophomore or freshman year in college he said dad this spring I want to go with my buddies because one of my buddies has their folks have a cottage down on the panhandle of Florida over spring break.

Of course, you know what, that goes through my mind. He said, no way. Absolutely not. Forget that. But dad, it's not like you think. It's not in the middle of all that It this that and the other thing What So you can lay out on the beach and be lazy and learn lazy habits Forget it No But dad no You know what he did He didn go Now conceivably he could have gotten in the car with his buddies and gone What would I have done about that Well okay you can come home and eat your mom cooking now All right But you know what else happened?

It was really interesting. Later on, he sat down and said, Dad, I want to talk to you. You know what? I'm not a kid. You brought me up. I know what's right and what's wrong.

I think you can trust me. If they ask me to go again, I'd like to go. Well, he went the next year. But the point I'm just trying to make is, if you work at the kind of communication that understands your kids, when your ability to control by raw power and authority goes down, your influence will go up. Okay? Does that mean they're going to do everything you tell them?

No. You know, once they leave home and get married and do all that sort of thing, they're not under your authority anymore. But you know, there's those years, those in-between years, that you want your influence to grow. All right? And this kind of communication does that. this kind of relationship prepares them here's another blessing prepares children for every other relationship if you're doing this it's going to prepare them to be able to communicate when they get married be able to communicate on the job they're learning communication it enables them to understand the complexities of life see again you're not just after compliance I want you to obey because that will make my life easier.

Well, if you're after the goal of independent godly disciples who love God and live for Him and are handling life, if that's your goal and you're communicating like this to get them there, you're not just getting them to comply. You're teaching them to understand the complexities of life. You're communicating in such a way that they learn what life is about.

It also gives them a redemptive understanding of life, that everything is under the gospel, that it's about living for Christ and they've been redeemed by Him and should live for Him. And it also helps them to achieve independence. They have the grid by which they can... understand all the events of life without you having to be there all the time to provide the direction and correction.

If you're communicating in this way and teaching them, using that to teach them, then they're learning how to think, they're learning how to handle life, they're learning all those things. It's going to help them achieve independence then. So, here's some questions then. Are you hearing what your children are saying? Do you understand them? Are you entering their world?

Are you able to give them the answers to life and to the heart struggles that they experience? See, if we're going to raise our children for God, we're going to raise our children not just to comply, but we're going to raise them to live independently for God. then we have to have the ability to listen to them and to communicate truth to them alright well you've been a very patient congregation this afternoon I hope this has been helpful I pray that God will use it So let stand Alright? Let's stand.

Father, Father, thank you for thank you for your love for us and giving us the gospel. And a way of life that is radically different than the life of the people of this world. But Father, we need help by your spirit to live as parents in a way that's different. So help us to that end. Oh, we beg you to do that. Lord, we know that we will never do it perfectly.

We know that there will be gaps and mistakes. And Lord, by the time we get to our adult children, there will be plenty of regrets. and yet we know that your grace is sufficient to make us channels of your grace for our children that they would live lives that are pleasing to you ready to handle the issues of life in a sin-cursed world for the glory of God. We thank you now in the name of our Savior.

Amen.