A Distinctive Kind Of Love

But before we look into the Word of God, let's take a moment and pray and ask that God would bring His Word home to our hearts. Father, now we sit before You, ready to hear You speak to us in Your Word, but Lord, You speaking to us is not enough. Your Spirit has to work in us that we would not merely hear, but that we would listen, and that we would respond in faithful obedience.

And so we ask that You would work Your Word in our hearts this morning. Father, this would be a colossal waste of time if You did not so work, and so we beg You to do that. our hearts cry is that you would transform people by the preaching of your word that they might be and do what you want of them so we ask you now to work in jesus name amen what is mom say what a dumb question that's that a mom is a woman who has children okay and some might say what kind of reason is that for talking about moms in a worship service this is a time of the week when we devote ourselves to the worship of God when we hear God speak to us and and we submit to him what in the world does any of this have to do with mom I know a pastor once who got up and said on Mother's Day why should we celebrate Mother's Day all you do is bring sinners into the world you talk about losing an audience right some people having asked that question believe that it's close to sacrilegious to mark mother's day during our worship you know we have nothing against moms but this is the time when we're to honor god and devote ourselves to the worship of him well let me give you then another definition of motherhood motherhood is a part of life that must be lived in submission to the lord jesus Christ. Does that change anything?

Absolutely. If we consider that, then we ought to spend time talking to moms about living out their lives in that time of their lives as disciples of Jesus. And as a disciple of Jesus who happens to be a mom, your Heavenly Father has a whole lot to say to you. Well, then let's ask another question. Do you think women who claim Jesus as Lord should be distinctive in the way that they are moms.

If you belong to the Lord Jesus, then you ought to be distinctive in the way that you are a mother. If you've trusted Jesus, then the gospel has transformed you. That kind of a woman should thus have a distinctive gospel-saturated approach to motherhood. You should have a distinctive way of mothering. Having been transformed by the gospel, you should approach motherhood in an entirely different way.

You see, now you're mothers under the lordship of Jesus. Isn't it interesting that when you read the scriptures, the lordship of Jesus Christ, as we submit to him, elevates the most mundane things of life into another plane entirely. Your work now is different since it's lived under the lordship of Jesus. Your parenting should be different, right? Your whole work should be different.

Everything is different under the lordship of Jesus, and that includes being a mom. now common traits in in in moms are that they love their children it is an unnatural thing it is an abhorrent thing to see a mother who does not love her children but having said that is your love entirely distinctive because of the gospel do you have a mother love that is different than your unbelieving neighbor. So let's talk about that this morning. How should your love be distinctive in this world?

How does the gospel change the way you love your children, moms? Moms, if you're followers of Jesus, then your love should be the kind that exalts the gospel of Jesus Christ, that puts the gospel on display to the world and to your children. Moms, if you've been transformed by the gospel, you will love God more than your children. You will love God more than your children.

Let's turn to Luke chapter 14 for a moment. Luke chapter 14. I want you to follow as I read verses 25 through 27. Now great crowds accompanied him, that is Jesus, and he turned and said to them, If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple love for jesus means that you will hate those who are dearest to you say what whoa whoa whoa does jesus really mean that does he mean that you have to go home today and start mistreating your children and ignoring them and neglecting at them and saying to them, I hate you.

Is that what he's saying here? Well that can be what he saying It just not possible that that what he saying Jesus himself loved children right And we commanded to love all men even our enemies So surely the ones that are dearest to us, we're commanded to love them. Well, if we're going to understand this, let me consider the story of a Chinese mother from years ago.

Her son was a toddler when the state took him away from her. because she was a Christian the communist government declared that she was unfit to be a mother but if she would renounce the gospel the state would let her keep her son because she loved God more she refused and so her son was taken away from her she didn't see him for 20 years and when they were reunited she found a man who despised her and her Christianity now you see it would appear that she hated her son doesn't it but she loved god more jesus means then that you're to love god so much more than your children that to everyone looking it may appear that you hate them compared to your love for god moms how do you know if you love your children more than you love god how would you know that well it's a love that loves the gift of god more than god himself and that produces a destructive love you know you love in that destructive way when you're willing to compromise god's will to please your children or in your view to enhance your relationship with them you will compromise what God says so you can keep your children's favor you will compromise what God has commanded you to do and teach if it if it means that somehow your children will be pleased and you may maybe in your view enhance your relationship maybe ask how does this whole concept help well it helps this way you will love your children with god's love only to the degree that you love god more you will love your children with god's love only to the degree that you love god more now the gospel helps you understand this kind of love why did Jesus go to the cross in the garden of Gethsemane you see him pleading with God why did he go to the cross because he loved his father supremely and because he loved the father supremely we got the love that we really needed the atoning death of Jesus on the cross. Because he loved his Father supremely, he loved us. Your love for God and for Christ will dictate how you love your children.

Your love for Christ, not your lusts, not your fears, not your desires to be liked, will govern your love for your children. You relate to your children in order to please God, rather than pleasing your children. You will fear God's disapproval more than you fear your children's disapproval. Ultimately, what is the goal of parenting? Ultimately, what is that goal?

Your children's happiness? Your happiness? Their academic success or athletic success or your reputation? What is the goal? Of course, we know what the goal is. right? It's to glorify God.

You know, I am, I've always thought it was, this is something that had an impact on us as parents. When you read in Luke chapter one, where Gabriel is talking to Zachariah in the temple, remember, Zachariah and his wife, Elizabeth couldn't have children, and Zachariah was serving in the temple. And the angel Gabriel came to him and said to him that they were going to have a son, which turns out to be John the Baptist.

They were going to have a son. And what Gabriel said is so important, is so important. He said to him, you shall call his name John and you will rejoice and be glad and many will rejoice at his birth for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. Moms, what is your goal for your children? It ought to be that they will be great in the sight of the Lord no matter what.

No athletic success could compare to that. No academic laurels could even come close. If this child is great in the sight of the Lord, that's what you're aiming at, you see. that's your goal and so you will love your children for the glory of god something that's bigger than either your feelings or your children's feelings so when your daughter appears in the morning ready to go to school and she has a dress that's so tight what are you going to do what are you going to do at that point that depends on whether you love your heavenly father more than you love your daughter.

Unless you love God more than your children, you will not effectively love your children, moms. You will not effectively love your children. If the gospel has transformed you, mom, then you will love your children sacrificially You will love them sacrificially Now how do you learn the love of God You don learn the love of God just by watching people You learn the love of God The gospel through the gospel The gospel is the measure of God love It defines it It clarifies it It glorifies it Let's look at Ephesians chapter 5.

Ephesians chapter 5. Let's look at verses 1 and 2. therefore be imitators of god as beloved children and walk in love as christ loved us and gave himself up for us a fragrant offering offering and sacrifice to god how do i know love he says walk in love how do i know that love here's what he tells you he says look to the cross if you want to know the love of God look at the cross there is the love of God and God's love was a bloody suffering kind of love it was clearly a sacrificial kind of love if you're going to love your children as God's love then this love will hurt at times it will be inconvenient it may be a source of stress you think it will interrupt your plans it may divert your life it could rechannel your energies in unexpected directions one mother described it this way before my baby came i had a career my husband and i took leisurely walks i enjoy it quite i enjoyed quiet time each day and i went shopping on saturday mornings after the baby everything changed i reluctantly quit the job i loved but i still had no time for myself. What happened?

I wanted to go back, but I couldn't. I began to pity myself. Then after several months, I realized that for the first time I was face to face with an opportunity to engage in real love, the costly love displayed by Jesus. Jesus' life and death helped me make the connection between love and sacrifice. I changed my attitude and slowly adjusted to my new life with growing joy and gratitude.

You must grasp this fact about loving your children, moms. It will be costly. It will be costly. It may cost you a career. Listen, if your children interfere with your career, what gives? What gives?

So what you're saying, Pastor Tim, is it's wrong to have a job outside the home no I'm not saying that I'm not saying that but what you need to do is ask some important questions like do I still have time to nurture to love to teach to give them the bread of life as well as still having a ministry at church and ministry and help serving others do I still have time for all that and my job if you do that's great the question is do you Love your lifestyle more than your children. It may cost you cherished dreams. You may not get the dream house when you have those four, five, six, maybe more children.

You may not have that nice soft skin you worked so hard for because you have to work in a garden now every day of the summer. it'll cost you your individuality you'll give it up because you serve your family now not yourself it'll mean getting supper on the table at the same time every night so your family can be all together to talk about the day to give biblical directions to the questions your children inevitably ask you to read the Bible together. It will cost you time and energy as you enter your children's world. Isn't that the love that Jesus displayed?

He entered our world. This is something I think moms, but all of us parents need to do. We need to enter our children's world. I honestly believe this. I honestly believe this. Take time to talk to your children, to understand how they see the world, to see what's influencing them, instead of just making judgments about how stupid teenagers are and why do they do these dumb things.

You enter into their world and find out. Okay? Do that. Do that with your little kids. Enter their world. And if you do that, it takes time and energy. the world says mom demand your rights find fulfillment in your dreams pursue your ambitions when jesus says the greatest in the kingdom of heaven is the slave of all now before you accuse me of some things here let me say this applies to dads as well but moms you're swimming against the stream of the world when you say i'm not going to pursue my dreams i'm going to pursue my children i'm going to build another i'm going to build the next generation that's more important than my dreams but notice this the the gospel also says that life proceeds from death the apostle the apostle paul speaking of his love for the corinthians and second corinthians said so death is at work in us but life in you is that important to you are you willing to die so that your children live the gospel says your children will live to the degree of your dying but there's good news for you as well moms gospel life does not just give life to your children but it also imparts life to the mom who dies.

Jesus said in the Gospel of Matthew, Matthew 16, verse 25, here's what he says. But whoever would save his life will lose it. But whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Do you want to find life? Then die to yourself. and you will find a life that's better than you ever dreamed of. The writer to the Hebrews said, Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.

To lose your life, to die to self, is to gain a life that is better than what you ever dreamed. You know, I think it's amazing and wonderful that God doesn't just say, grit your teeth, you knuckleheads, and serve me. He says, die to yourself, serve me, take up your cross, deny yourself, and follow me. And guess what? Life will be better than you ever expected.

You lose your life, you're going to find it. Life proceeds out of death. Gospel-centered moms serve their children with one eye on the cross. Moms, if you've been transformed by the gospel, then you will love your children kindly. Romans chapter 2, verse 4. this is a verse that stands out to me it stands out to me look at what it says romans 2 verse 4 or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience not knowing that god's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance you know i'm 70 and i forget i've forgotten most of my life i mean it's kind of frustrating, but I do remember one night in our home, in our kitchen, when Becca said to me, you know what, honey?

I was reading in Romans today, particularly this verse, and she said, if we want our kids to come to know the Lord, we better be kind to them. Hmm. that was like wow it's real easy to say do this or else right it's we got to be kind we have to be kind you know what let's face it moms kindness sometimes can get lost in the whole mothering project right but kindness leads to repentance do not think that love stops at sacrificial deeds. You can do all kinds of sacrificial deeds and not love your children with kindness and affection.

It is kindness that will convince them that you really love them. Affection is important. Warmth, not just deeds, must characterize your love for your children. You say, but I love my kids. I fix the meals. I do the laundry.

I mend their clothes. What else can I do to love my kids? I'm doing all these things. Doesn't that count for anything? Well, of course it does. We just talked about that.

But it's great, and it does require great sacrifice, but do you ever smile with your kids? Do you ever hug them? Do you kiss them? Do you play with them? Do you do those things? Laugh with them?

You see, this is how God deals with us. Just next chapter, Romans 5. Let's look at that for a moment. First of all, let's look at verse 5, where the apostle writes, And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who's been given to us. See, he's talking about the fact that there's a love that's subjective here, that's been poured into your heart.

He's talking one more about the sacrificial deeds. He's talking now about the fact that God has poured his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit. He goes on, For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person, though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die. But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Since there, we have now been justified by his blood. Much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his son, much more now that we are reconciled shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoiced in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. received reconciliation notice that when you look at reconciliation in this context it is not saying that god conquered your hatred of him it's not saying that you received the reconciliation it says that because god gave his son god's hostility toward you was removed god's hostility to you was removed because god's hostility was removed he can now give us his spirit because now his hostility is gone he doesn't talk he doesn't deal with us according to his anger right towards with a hostile attitude because of that now he can pour his holy spirit into your heart so that you know the affection of god one writer put it this way but affection is so important to god that he sent his son to remove the offense that separated us he did this so that he could lavish affection on us he wanted friendship he wanted an affectionate relationship but sin stood in the way so he dealt with the sin issue at the cross he did this to open the floodgates of affection sometimes it's hard to feel affection for your children it just is am i right do i have an amen for that no some are easy to like some of your kids are easy to like They joyful They hang on every word that you say They're not stubborn.

They're kind-hearted. They're compliant. Right? But then there's the other one, where you don't have very many mutual interests. And he's always pushing the envelope. Right?

He's always kind of pushing the envelope. and testing the waters, and always has to argue his point. And he's ambitious and busy and not very attentive, right? God sends you those kind of children to test your capacity to love like your heavenly father. You see? So, how do you grow in that? how do you grow in that let me bring to your attention what God says in Titus chapter 3 in Titus chapter 3 beginning in verse 3 he writes for we ourselves were once foolish disobedient led astray slaves to various passions and pleasures passing our days in malice and envy hated by others and hating one another.

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared He saved us not because of works done by us in righteousness but according to his own mercy once more you look to the cross if you would find affection and kindness flowing from you to your children you remember you remember what you were like you remember what you are like and look at what god does for you in jesus such kindness and affection can lead your children to the lord jesus is there any greater love than that moms as those who claim jesus is lord has he changed the way you love your children has he changed the way you love your children do you love in a distinctive gospel-centered way you see you are a disciple of Jesus and that life must be lived out not just out there before a world that's looking to see whether you're really a Christian but your life as a disciple has to be live not just in that venue, but the closest venue you will have at home with your children. Are you a disciple a faithful follower of Jesus and all that He commands you That what that about That what motherhood is about So moms if you would love in a distinctive manner you must know the Gospel. Father, You have taken these mundane things of life, the everyday, ordinary things of life, like being a mom, and You have elevated it to this glorious plane where we live out of love for the Lord Jesus.

You have taken this normal experience that has been part of the history of the world and you have elevated it to this place where children can know the love of God because of their moms. So Father, we pray that this will have fallen on ready hearts. And so that the moms here, your moms, would have a distinctive love that is saturated with the gospel. grant that we pray for their good and your glory in jesus name amen