Developing Effective Communication Part 4

Well, here we are, night number three, anticipating what God is going to say to us, getting ready for encouragement and conviction. Some of you said to me last night, you got him to come just for me, right? so um i don't know i i have just thoroughly enjoyed this not not just because it's it's good to hear someone else preach the word of god but it's just been so um biblically based way of taking apart a whole world of communication and so it's just been marvelous for me to to hear those things and to see where I need to change and to grow as well. So Nick, come and minister the word of God.

Good evening to all of you. Let me just say I've got to pump my energy up. I've just had some nice pork that was wonderful with some chocolate chip cookies, mashed potatoes, and some good vegetables. So a nap would have been great right about now. However, I said I would come and teach first, so I'm going to fulfill my first obligation. Is that all right with you guys?

I'm so glad again to be here tonight. This is one of those subjects that you hate to talk about but you need to talk about. And it's on the idea of understanding and dealing with gossip, if you will. And so many different ideas have been mentioned about gossip, I hope we can break down God's Word and give an effective and hopefully concise definition and challenge us tonight on how and when we're gossiping what to do differently and to make changes.

So before we begin, let's open up in a word of prayer and then let's dive into God's Word together. Father, again, we do thank you that you've been so kind to us. We thank you for this glorious day. We thank you for the things we've been able to get accomplished. We thank you for the people you've allowed us to connect with today. We thank you for the challenges we've had today.

And Lord, we ask that as we are coming to the end of this day, would you guide us in your word that we could understand it better and not just understand it Lord We want to live what we learn and we want to love others with it as well Forgive us Lord of our sins and please bless this time we ask in Christ name Amen Many years ago when I was really trying to perfect the idea of biblical counseling and understanding how far a person can go and sharing information with me and counseling without it becoming a gossip session about the person that's not there, I started having to learn some fences to put up. And I remember one guy called me and he said, Pastor, I need to talk with you. I said, okay.

What do you want to talk about? Well, it's my wife. And whenever someone starts a conversation like that, you know you're in trouble. Because here's what I've learned. Whoever tells the story first is always the hero. and so this guy for 30 to 40 minutes without letting me get a word in edgewise began to tell me every negative thing he could about his wife and even as I tried to get a word in I was completely shut down because he wasn't finished telling me every negative thing he could about his wife I said sir sir sir I think I know what the problem is he said oh yeah what is it I said it's you.

I said, you don't even know me and you have decided to tell me some of the most sensitive, most ugliest details about the closest person to you. And you have no idea who I am and she's not even here to defend herself, but you have taken the liberty to unfold some of the worst things possible about your wife to me. If you will do that with me, I can only imagine what you're doing with her.

Hello? Hello? He immediately hung up the phone. We've got to be careful, guys. When we start to talk about other people, there needs to be a line biblically of how far we should and should not go. And we need to be careful that in our conversations about people that we are not making ourselves the hero and the other person the villain And too often if you talk to people when they start out a conversation by saying can I talk to you about this situation and they begin to tell you about someone else they telling you their belief system And here the belief system they saying to you The condition of my life is based upon the character flaws of this person.

So therefore, I need to tell you every negative thing possible about this person so we together can figure out how to fix them so that my life can be better. and what they don't understand is it is a faulty view of life the condition of my life isn't based upon the negative character flaws of another individual the condition of my life is based upon how i'm choosing to handle the other individual if god would have put my life in the hands of people how bad would that be now think about it this way if my thought life the condition of my soul, peace or lack of peace, was based upon people and their personalities. When would I ever have peace? You ever thought about that?

See, once you get them straight, then they mess up again. Now you get them straight. Now you got to go fix this person, get them straight. Man, it's hard being God, isn't it? And if you ever watch any of the court shows, they do the same thing. Your honor, I just want to tell you this person is a liar, they're a thief, and they're no good, has nothing to do with the situation, but they feel like I need to tell you all this negative stuff as if that is what's going to make things better.

Does it ever? Does it change the situation for us to give someone else all the negative details about an individual, thinking that that's going to help us? It never helps. And what I want us to do tonight is to begin to think about this, because if we can understand how this works biblically and practically, I think it will challenge us when we begin to share our hearts about someone else, we'll begin to ask some very serious questions.

Is this necessary to be shared? What's my agenda in sharing? How does this bring glory to God? Is this going to bring transformation or is this going to bring more confusion, disorder, and every evil thing? And so as we explore tonight, I want you to turn in your Bibles. Again, tonight we're going to jump on that Bible bus.

Y'all ready to take a trip? So we're going to drive a little bit on this bus and ride around. So let's jump on the bus. Our first stop is going to be in Proverbs chapter 12. Proverbs chapter 12 And we going to look at a lot of Proverbs tonight And before we really read the first point I just want to read these passages And they speak for themselves Now remember when you looking at the book of Proverbs and I forgot to mention this the other night Proverbs basically does two things It gives you a description of life and it gives you a prescription for life.

So there are certain passages when you read them, they're describing life and there are certain passages when you read them, they are prescribing for life. Now we can learn from both, but it's just a good observation when you're reading the Proverbs, oh, this is a description. Oh, this is a prescription. How can I use this accordingly in my life? We come to Proverbs chapter 12, looking at verse 22.

Notice what's written here as we start to understand and distinguish between gossiping and sharing. Proverbs chapter 12, verse 22 he says this lying lips are an abomination to the Lord but those who deal faithfully are his delight now think about that for a moment and read that again sometimes in my church I'll say this let me say that again in English lying lips are an abomination to the Lord but those who deal faithfully are his delight now keep your finger there stay on the bus we're going to stop at another stop in the same book and let's go to chapter 15 verse 7 it says the lips of the wise spread knowledge but the hearts of fools are not so the lips of the wise spread knowledge but the hearts of fools and not so. Interesting.

Now stay in the same book, same chapter, and go all the way down to verse 28. Verse 28. The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. Now from these particular passages, again giving us descriptions, I want us to build on this to lay down some solid principles about talking about another individual.

Because everybody in this room is guilty of talking about someone else. Let's distinguish if our talking about someone else has been God-honoring or dishonoring. Does that make sense? Okay, let's walk with this together. Part number one, if we're going to develop an effective communication, we need to learn the danger of being careless with our words when talking about other people.

Carelessness in our words can lead to speaking lies about someone unintentionally or sometimes intentionally. And I want to give you some dangers looking at these verses. If we're not careful, if we don't really think about what we're saying about other people, let me share with you some of the things that can come out. Here's the first thing I want you to see.

When you do not speak the truth, you tend to give misinformation. You tend to give misinformation. Well, what exactly is misinformation? It's presenting information about something or someone that is partially the truth or information that is completely wrong. If we're not careful with our words, We can give misinformation about people, and then that clouds the reality of what's happening in the lives of individuals.

Secondly, when you do not speak the truth, you tend to give misrepresentations. Misrepresentations. Well, what exactly is that? It's presenting information about something or someone as if it were true, not presenting them properly, carefully, or truthfully. How many times have you misrepresented a person as you're talking to somebody else? In your mind, it was just the right thing, but let the truth be told, you were totally out of order.

So you basically lied on the person. Now, let me show you how bad this is. When you are talking about someone and the information you give is not accurate, nor should have been told, think of how many people are poisoned by the information you've given. Now, let me take it a step further. people who trust your judgment and you tell them something about someone else now when they see that person how will they view that person according to you you have the ability to poison other people against people because when people trust your words if you say something most of the time they believe it's true and when you start to share information about another individual and people trust you if you're not right you've just poisoned the mind of many now let me share with you my life for a moment and the dangers of that God has allowed me to at home we have a Bible college where I teach And here's an interesting story.

We are a conservative evangelical school, but TBN has to give away free television hours as a community service. So they've asked our college for the last 10 years to come and have the professors use a television show to give truth. so for the last 10 years we have been on a quote-unquote charismatic if you will station giving sound doctrine and our agenda has always been to teach the cameramen and the people that are there and so we're just messing them up because we're coming with the stuff that they're not used to hearing but we're doing it every time we've been doing it for over 10 years and they take those videos and they show these television clips of us in different places around the country where TBN chooses to show them. Now, why am I telling you this?

What if I'm giving misinformation? It's not just a cameraman that gets that information. They show this show in Texas, Georgia, Florida, and a few other surrounding places. So my lie gets spread to more than just one person. and then if they buy into my lie, then somebody else tells it. If 10 people hear what I say and tell another 10 people, then what happens?

Poison spreads. Now, why am I making the point? When you talk about somebody else, and what you're saying is not appropriate or should be said, or even misrepresentation, think of how many people are now poisoned by your view. we've got to be careful when it comes to our words about other people letter c when you do not speak the truth you tend to give exaggerations presenting information about something or someone by describing something larger better or worse than it really is ever had somebody do that it was all over his face and it was just on the side of their cheek or something like that you know i was dealing with a counseling scenario where that happened where this person was just i mean everything was just bigger than what it really was and I had to keep asking questions to get to the real court to find out what they had made this major fiasco was just some little thing do you know that that a lie when you exaggerate something that a lie we have to be careful of these things Letter D when you do not speak the truth you tend to make allegations making unfounded assertions implying something is fat without proof Ladies and gentlemen, we've got to be careful when we start to speak about people.

Now, behind you, I want to show you this example, and it should be coming up. I want you to see this next thing. Now, look at what it says. When I grow up, I want to be like mommy. Now, I know what you're thinking. Now, let me share with you what that was.

A first grade handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment, and after it was graded, the child brought it home. She returned it to school the next day with the following note. Dear Miss Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is not of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.

This photo is of me selling a shovel. Are you getting my point? you see how careful we have to be when we start to talk about other people it is misinformation that will get us in trouble i knew exactly what you were thinking because when i looked at it i thought the exact same thing i want to be like mommy oh no but you get my point guys we got to be careful what we say about other people now with that being said i want you to look at point number two with me before we begin to have a discussion about a person there are some factors that need to be considered before we begin to have a discussion about a person there are some factors that need to be considered now let's jump back on this Bible bus and I want us to read a few passages together. Turn with me if you will to Proverbs chapter 10 and let's look at verse 14.

Proverbs chapter 10 verse 14 Notice what he says here wise men store up knowledge but with the mouth of the foolish ruin is at hand Wise men store up knowledge but with the mouth of the foolish ruin is at hand. Stay in the same chapter and let's go down to verse 19. My favorite verse, when there are many words, what does it say? Transgression is unavoidable but he who restrains his lips is wise.

You know what that means? The more you talk, inevitably sin is going to happen. Wisdom says, I need to be wise. I need to be careful about my words and the economy of those things. Look with me at Proverbs chapter 11, verse 13. Proverbs 11 verse 13.

It says, he who goes about as a tail bearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter. So with these passages, and there are a few more, and I won't read them for now. I'll encourage you to go home and read these passages. we've got to be very careful when we start to say, I'm going to tell you this about Levi. I need to really be thinking, am I going to say something that's going to be God-honoring, God-productive, or am I just wanting to share because I have these feelings that I want to get out, and I don't care how it comes about, I don't care how it makes Levi look, I just want to say what I want to say.

Or will I bring glory to God? and be considerate of the other individual. Let's take a look at some of these things, if you will. Letter A, we need to guard our tongues so that we do not bring unnecessary trouble to our lives as a result of the words spoken about another person that should not have been said from the beginning. There are so many things that if you could take back, I'm sure you would.

But the reality is, even if you took them back, it's not enough. It's still in your heart. And since words are an abundance of the heart, the problem is not the words as much as the root of where it came from. When your heart is not right with God and others, even though you're quiet, in the eyes of God, there still needs to be repentance. Because what you're doing on the inside is just as bad as what may come out on the outside.

And so we've got to be very careful and cautious that we don't say things that really don't need to be said. Letter B, we need to make sure that we are communicating what is appropriate. What is appropriate when speaking about another person. Some things do not need to be said. Some things are not appropriate for us to repeat. some things need to be kept quiet because it is not necessary to be shared have you ever heard someone give a gospel testimony and they give you some of the most perverted you know wicked things about themselves to where you can't hear how they got saved because you're too busy trying to figure out she did that he did that and and you get wrapped up in the curiosity of the stuff they did to the point that you can't hear the deliverance that God has given through the person and work of Christ some things just aren't necessary to be repeated have you thought about the things you've said about other people how much of it really did not need to be said how much of was said because you were being vicious, angry, upset, ticked off, if you will, and so you just wanted to get this off your chest.

Here's a question for you. Is it okay to vent? You know, just call my friend and just vent because I want to talk about somebody else. Well, why can't I just talk about somebody else? Well, Bible number one, let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth with only such as good fetification according to the need of the moment that it may give grace to those who hear.

So I'm not sure berating somebody else on the phone is really giving grace to the person who hears. That's number one. Number two, how do we know that what you're saying is 100% accurate? How do we know that what you're saying is totally the truth? This person isn't there to defend themselves. So now you could be telling a bunch of lies because that's how you feel about the person, but the person on the other end hears all of this garbage and when they see that person what will they think now they will be thinking according to your assessment and they only have one half the story the bible says in Proverbs 18 17 one man case seems right until another comes and examines him And I always put it as this paraphrase, whoever tells the story first is always the hero.

And you know that to be true, right? Whoever gets to you first, they're the hero. They're never the one that did anything wrong, but it was that other person. I know I've got my problems, but it's this person that has all the issues, and I can't wait to tell you all the details about their life and their issues because that's what's going to make everything better.

That's an unbiblical truth. Actually, it's not a truth. It's unbiblical. It's a lie. Let's look at another thing together. Letter C.

We need to make sure that when we're communicating, that we're communicating what is helpful, not hurtful, when speaking about another person. We need to make sure that what we're communicating is helpful, not hurtful, when speaking about another person. And then letter D. In essence, we need to restrain ourselves from saying too much about a person and from speaking mess or garbage about a person.

Now, let me ask you a question. If you were to look at your life, and for every kind thing you said, you would be paid $10. And for every lie, misrepresentation, and mean thing you've said, you'd have to pay $5. Would you be rich, or would you be poor right now? I mean that's a question you really need to sit down and ask to say if I got honest for everything that I said that was appropriate and right and I got paid for it and everything that I said was misappropriate or inappropriate and wrong where would I be financially do you realize that we will have to give an account for how we've used this time praise God for salvation I mean our salvation is secure but man many of us if not all of us we may lose some rewards eternally because we didn't use our tongues for his glory and I don know about you but this life is not everything this is supposed to be our preparation for our destination And I think that you and I need to be preparing ourselves especially with what we saying with our tongues.

Let's take a look at the next part together. Point number three. Before we begin to have a discussion about someone, we need to determine if we are about to gossip. Before we begin to have a discussion about someone we need to determine if we are about to gossip i want us to look at these particular passages and from these passages we're going to glean a hopefully a clear definition of what gossip is so let's start at proverbs chapter 20 verse 19 proverbs chapter 20 verse 19 here's what he says he who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets therefore do not associate with the gossip he who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets therefore do not associate with a gossip notice now go back to chapter 10 verse 18 staying in the book of proverbs chapter 10 verse 18 here's what he says he who conceals hatred has lying lips and he who spreads slander is a fool he who conceals hatred has hot lying lips, and he who spreads slander is a fool.

Stay in that text. Go to chapter 16. Stay in the book of Proverbs. Chapter 16, verse 28. From this, we're going to develop our definition of gossip. Proverbs 16, verse 28.

A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends. A perverse man spreads strife and a slanderer separates intimate friends. Keep your finger there. We're getting back on the bus. Let's go to chapter 26. Chapter 26, verse 20 to verse 22.

Chapter 26 verse 20 to 22 He says for lack of wood the fire goes out and where there is no whisperer contention quiets down Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a contention's man to kindle strife. The words of a whisperer are like dainty mortals, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body. now based upon these passages we're going to construct a definition of what gossip is and so we can begin to evaluate when we are talking about other people have we been gossiping or have we been within a context of what we would call appropriate here's the first aspect of what we mean by gossip letter a gossip is when information about another individual or set of individuals is shared that is supposed to be kept confidential. So part of the understanding of gossip is you're not supposed to say anything, but you can't wait to tell it.

You were supposed to keep your mouth shut, but it just slipped out because you couldn't wait because it was just too juicy to keep quiet. That's a part of gossip where it was supposed to be confidential, but it's been put out on display. That's one aspect of the definition. Let's look at the next one. Gossip is when negative or confidential information about another individual or set of individuals, watch this, whether true or false is shared about them, not to them, with the intent, notice motive, to put down, criticize, embarrass, ruin reputation, or bring unwarranted, unproven accusations against the person.

Let me read that again. Gossip is when negative or confidential information about another individual or set of individuals, whether true or false, is shared about them, not to them, with the intent to put down, criticize, embarrass, ruin reputations, or bring unwarranted, unproven accusations against the person. This is another aspect of gossip. Now, given the passages we read, let's look at letter C.

As we build on this definition, gossip is when negative or confidential information about a of the individual or set of individuals, whether true or false, is shared about them, not to them, with the intent to bring unwarranted division between people. So notice is shared at first to bring criticism. We see it's also about division, and then we can say the next part, which is all the same things, and we skip to the end with the intent to create mess and conflict between people.

If we want to understand what gossip is, it's not only what you say, it's the motive behind why you say it. Levi tells me something in private and I decide that I don't want it to be private anymore. So I go and I tell John, I'm sorry, I tell Paul about what Levi said. And I can't wait to tell Paul. Now, I've just uncovered what Levi has told me privately, but I feel like Paul needs to know about it.

And so now that's gossip. Or I really don't like Levi, so I'm so glad he shared it because now I get to go tell somebody else in hopes that they will line up with me so we can get Levi out of wherever he is because I don't like him anyway. So now, Paul, I'm telling you stuff that you really don't need to know because I want to bring division. Paul, do you know what Levi said about your ministry?

Oh, this is what he told me. Now, you can't tell anybody. Yeah, yeah, it's just unreal. Is that necessary? Is that God honoring? Gossip will kill us.

It will kill a church. Stories told of these pastors who spend some time, they wanted to confess their sins and they wanted a safe place to deal with their sins. So one pastor said, well, I'll kick it off. He says, guys, I have a problem with a foul mouth. And every now and again, I just, I say things I shouldn't say. And they go, oh, brother, we understand.

We understand. So then another pastor said, well, I'll kick it off. I, you know, to be honest with you guys, I have problems with money. I, you know, sometimes I take a little more than I should. And, you know, I just, I'm sharing with you. We understand, brother.

Another brother said, well, guys, you know, I'm struggling with pornography. And it been a deep secret And so I sharing with you Well then the fourth guy started backing away And as he was backing away he was going to his car and he said well, brother, what's your problem? He says, my problem is gossip and I can't wait to go share with everybody. Let it be said about you that you won't share what needs to be shared unless it's necessary.

Let it be said about you that you don't damage people's reputations. Let it be said about you that your words are seasoned with grace and that your words are truthful, but that your words are appropriate. Don't let it be said about you that if I want to know what's happening in the church, I can come to you. Guys, what does a garbage can do, by the way?

Can you tell me? it it holds garbage right now you don't want to be the garbage can of the church where people feel comfortable to dump the latest dirt on you and they know they can because you can't wait to receive it you need to be the one that lovingly says wait a minute should we be talking about this at all? I want to share a little bit more with you. Am I making sense to you guys?

So I want to close by considering when is it okay then to share confidential information? I want to show you some passages that in looking at Scripture, these passages unfold when it's not really gossip. And so let me share this with you in closing tonight, and I want us to go home and think about this. Here's point number four. It is not considered gossip when negative a confidential information, now watch this, please underline these words in your notes, that is proven to be true is shared with the proper leadership.

Let me start that from the beginning. It is not considered gossip when negative a confidential information that is proven to be true is shared with the proper leadership in order for that leadership to do what is right as prescribed by God in his word to bring order, peace, reconciliation, church discipline, or whatever is needed to the glory of God the good of the individuals involved and the good of the church Let me read that again It is not considered gossip when negative or confidential information that is proven to be true, again proven to be true, is shared with the proper leadership in order for that leadership to do what is right as prescribed by God in his word to bring order, peace, reconciliation, church discipline, or whatever is needed to the glory of God, the good of the individuals involved in the good of the church. If you see something or hear something that's not appropriate and you know that leadership needs to be responsible and be involved, it's not gossip to go to leadership and say, hey, I know for a fact that John is sleeping with Susan and Susan is not his wife. and they've been here at the church now for a few months, I'm telling it.

I'm coming to you elders because I witnessed not the act itself, but I saw enough to know that something is not right. It's not gossip. That's going to the leaders who can bring peace, order, and the proper context of the situation. Let me give you some examples from scripture where we see this. Letter A, sharing the faults of others is permitted when proven credible facts truth not perceptions of preferences whether negative or confidential about another individual or set of individuals is reported to leadership in relation to unresolved disunity among the brethren within the congregation so that leadership can address it biblically turn me to philippians chapter 4 let's look at verse 2 to 3 as we see this happening philippians chapter 4 verse 2 to verse 3 notice paul writing this letter to the philippian church notice what he says i urge you dear and i urge syntyche to live in harmony in the lord indeed true companion i ask you also to help these women who have shared my struggle in the cause of the gospel together with clement and also the rest of my fellow workers whose names are in the book of life now how did paul know about that he in prison someone had to go back and tell him this is what happening between these ladies And because they are tied to you and your leadership, we want you to know.

And he says, hey, you ought to help these ladies get it together. Is that gossip? No. That's leadership being told information that they may address it for the right reason. Let me give you another example. I'm going to skip all the big details because it's the same paragraph all the way through from B, C, and D.

We're going to get down to where the negative or confidential information about another individual, set of individuals is reported to leadership in relation to unrepentant sexual immorality within the congregation so that leadership can address it biblically. Let me give you another example here. turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 5. 1 Corinthians chapter 5, looking at verse 1 to verse 3.

1 Corinthians chapter 5, verse 1 to verse 3. Notice what he says. He says, it is actually reported. So what does that mean? someone had to come back and share with Paul it is actually reported that there was immorality among you an immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles that someone has his father's wife you have become arrogant and have not mourned instead so that one the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst for I on my part though absent in body but present in spirit have already judged him who has committed this as though I were present is that gossip absolutely not they're going to someone who can do something about it they're going to leadership so that leadership with the authority that God has given them can handle the situation appropriately let me give you a third example again skipping some of the details negative or confidence confidential about another individual or set of individuals is reported to leadership and in relation to division being spread among the congregation so that leadership can address it biblically let's look 1 Corinthians chapter 10, I'm sorry, 1 Corinthians chapter 1, verse 10 to verse 11.

1 Corinthians chapter 1, verse 10 to verse 11. He says, now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no division among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and the same judgment. Verse 11, for I have been informed concerning you, my brethren, by Chloe's people, that there are quarrels among you.

Again, coming back to the leadership to say, hey, there is division. You guys are in authority. I'm coming to tell you what's happening. This is proven facts so that you can address it appropriately. Another example and then we close. sharing the faults of others is permitted when proven credible facts slash truth not perceptions of preferences whether negative or confidential about another individual or a set of individuals is reported to leadership in relation to unrepentant sin so that leadership can address it biblically and i going to skip Matthew 18 because I sure that you heard that a million times Did you get the picture?

We need to be careful, guys, when we decide to open our mouths to talk about another individual. Let me share with you a principle that I want you to take home, and I want you to write this down. This is called the THINK principle. T-H-I-N-K. The THINK principle. And if you can remember the THINK principle before you speak, it can help you.

Here's what T stands for in the THINK principle. Number one, is it true? Is it true? H. H. Is it helpful?

Is it helpful? Was T? Is it? T is, is it? Okay, H is, is it? I.

Is it inspiring? Is it inspiring? Was T Was H Was I Letter N Is it necessary Is it necessary Was T? Was H? What's I? What's N?

Letter K. Is it kind? Is it kind? This is the think principle. Before you start to talk about somebody, think. What's letter T?

What's letter H? What's letter I? What's letter N? What's letter K? If you go through that process before you begin to say a word about somebody, you will find yourself being God-honoring in your speech. So, as we come to a close, tomorrow we'll begin to talk about, But what do we do when Al decides to talk to Betty about Carl?

How do we handle that? Because there are a lot of times when you're Al, there are a lot of times when you're Betty, there are a lot of times when you're Carl. So what do we need to do when Al talks to Betty about Carl? And how do we make it God Let pray together Father we thank you as you helping us to think through these principles about what we say and don say Lord please forgive us for we have said things about people and it has been misinformation.

We've said things that should have been kept quiet. We have been talking too much about people and not enough to you for people. And we ask your forgiveness. Now, Lord, help us to begin to guard our tongues so that we make sure that we don't misrepresent, but that our tongues will be seasoned with grace and your glory will be seen through our words. It's in Christ's name we pray.

Amen. let's stand. Father, thank You for these words tonight drawn from the Scriptures. Again, Father, these have come with Your authority behind them. Help us to think before we speak for Your glory and the good of others. In Jesus' name, Amen.