Gospel Goals

I want to give you this little time for discussion, questions, and so forth. Can we ask questions along the way? Okay. I'm going. Somehow. Alright, let's pray.

Father, thank you for this day. Thank you for the worship we've had today. Thank you for today. I pray that you would help us to think. Lord, we're not just after learning something. We want to be changed by your word.

We want to consider how that was our children. So, we have work here tonight of helping us to understand and work together in Jesus' name. Amen. You're in the store looking at the pizzas. When you come down now, you hear a woman yelling at her child, Stop giving up! Do you want me to set you back down?

Now sit down. Sit down. Okay? A little later you'll hear her sweet voice again shouting, Leave that alone. I'm tired of you grabbing things. Stop it.

If you don't stop it, we won't go to McDonald's. Now here's the question. Does that woman have a goal for herself? What is it? What is her goal? To behave the way she likes.

Okay. Yeah, and maybe she just wants a child that bothers her, and maybe she just wants immediate obedience. She wants something. Even if she can't spell it out, she's got a goal for her child. Okay, here's a dad who has three sons. And he involves them in wrestling from the time they can barely walk.

They wrestle winter, spring, summer, and fall. He puts a mat in the basement. They wrestle all year long. He enters them into every tournament in the state. He took it as a goal for a cent. Yeah, he does.

You can tell by what he's doing. The pastor is feeling mad when he gets home from the hospital. It's Sunday afternoon and he's gone to see someone at the hospital. And when he shows up at church that night to teach, he finds that his son has dyed his hair blue. Now he is feeling mad. And when he gets home that night, he's about ready to blow a gasp.

He says, what do you think you're doing? you're doing. Don't you care what people think about your father? How could you embarrass me like that The a goal What would you say it is I don have a goal Here the thing Dan Please, you're opening up a pretty wide door here. Is this what they call goals with Catherine? I'll just signal the questions for everybody.

So, yeah, he's got a goal. Now, how would you put it in this sentence? The goal from my perspective is to be a good person. I'm not saying that I'm a bad person. I'm just saying that I'm a good person. I'm not saying that I'm a bad person.

The goal for my children to do that. What would you put on that line? What would you write on that? Okay? Okay, what does that mean? Okay.

Alright. Alright. So would you say the goal is to get your kids saved? I know, but it sounded like you were I'm hoping that was... Go ahead. Okay, well, there it is.

Let's just go home. That's it. That's what I'm going to spend the whole time trying to prove to you. All right? How would your children complete the sentence? What mom and dad want from me is...

All right? Now, what I want to talk about tonight is something that, for me, revolutionize everything I did with my kids. When someone walked alongside me with this, this just changed everything for me. I was a dad who had three boys and I didn't have a clue where I was going with my kids. I had not even thought about this. Now nevertheless, even though I hadn't thought about it, I was operating with a goal.

I had an operational goal for those years that my boys were young at that time. And so tonight I want to address this whole issue of God's role for your children. To me, this is one of the real bedrock things that we've got to get down if we're going to raise our kids in a way that pleases God. We got to understand the school issue of the goal Now here a question Why should you have a goal in raising your children Well for one thing you have a goal whether you recognize it or not Even though the woman in the store can't articulate it, if you ask her, what's the goal for your children?

She probably couldn't tell you, but she has a goal. She already is operating with a goal. Even though the pastor wasn't thinking about it, he wanted to achieve something. Okay? Don't think it's... and I think it's better to be able to articulate your goal than to fall into one, or to adopt one from around you, or to have a goal that you pick up from whoever's influential around you.

You have to be able to think this through, and you have to be able to do it, but everybody has a goal. Let me think about it now. They have a goal. Before someone came alongside me and talked to me about raising kids, I could tell you very easily what the goal was. In those days it was simply, I want kids who won't bother me, who just toe the line when I want them to.

I want my kids not to disrupt my life. Here's another reason why we don't have a goal, not just because you have to be able articulate it, but the fact is a goal directs your choices as you raise your children. If you have a goal in mind, it's going to affect or it should affect all of your choices. What are you going to do with them? What's important?

What are you going to let them do? What are you not going to let them do? When are you going to disappoint them? What are you going to teach them? All of it comes out of the goal. All of it, um, well, it's down to there.

If you want a son who will be coordinated learning athletic skills that you think will help him later in life, and you choose to skip church, and you're going to, make sure he's in the tournament. If you think it's important that your daughter be attractive and popular, you might go along with her buying some things that maybe you wouldn't care. But, you know, it's not about me, you might say.

If your goal for your daughter is that she can learn to understand life from God's perspective If you value godliness above athletic prowess, your choices will reflect that. And by the way you can talk all you want about godliness but your goal will be reflected in the choices that you make So the choices you make teach your children what important to you Okay Having a goal helps you in the long run You see past the trials and the hard times to what you want to accomplish. I think this is really important.

If you know where you're headed when the tough times come, you'll get through them because you have an idea. This is where we're going. Okay, there's some things going on that aren't exactly right. Paul Tripp wrote this, you cannot expect that when the moment is tense and the emotions are high, you'll be able to think clearly, biblically, and concretely.

You have to enter these times with your children with a pre-commitment to a concrete goal. Okay? So I can think of times in our past when, in fact, I can think of a couple of particular times when things got really rough in our family with some of our kids. But we had a goal in mind. We knew what we wanted to do. And that helped us think in the midst of the difficulties.

It helped us understand, okay, now what are we going to do? Where are we headed? It's not just get through this trial. Okay. Okay. We've got to get through this.

All right, it's more than that We're headed in a particular direction Something's going on this trial is going on how we're going to to handle those trials in a way that leads us in that direction Okay pursuing a goal that puts your children for life It's going to be quickness We're going to be ready to handle life. If you don't have a goal, they'll just go into life with whatever they've picked up. It's going to help you with that.

And lastly, let's look at Hebrews 12. Turn to Hebrews 12. Here's a passage about our Heavenly Father and how He handles His children, which I would suggest to you is a pretty good pattern for us to follow. Hebrews chapter 12, beginning in verse 5. Have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when we are in need.

For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, He chastises every son whom He receives. It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them, shall we not much more be subject to the Father of Spirits and live?

For they disciplined us for a short time, as it seemed best to them. But he disciplines us for our good, what is that good? That we may share in his holiness. For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant. But later, he yields the perfect fruit, the peaceful fruit of righteousness, to those who have been trained by him. This is how God operates with us.

He has a goal in mind. He wants us to be in a particular place. So his discipline comes our way so that we share in his holiness. So that we have the peaceful fruit of righteousness. That's what he wants. That's why he does what he does.

So if that's the way God operates with us, he's got a goal in mind, clearly stated here, then that's what we ought to be, right? We ought to be goal-oriented parents who are taking their children to a particular goal. Now, what are some common goals today? And again, we have to understand that everybody has a goal, whether they can write it out, whether they can think about it, everybody has a goal.

Okay? So what are some of them? Well here's one that's very common. I want my child to be a success. However you define that. Right?

I want him to live a comfortable, happy life. I want him to achieve this. However you define success. Lots of people have this as their goal. My kid should be a success. Alright I don want my kid to be well adjusted Whatever that means I going to provide that Okay That what a lot of people are thinking Here's one.

I want my child to get by. A lot of times that's our goal for our kids. Because we haven't thought ahead to what we want them to be when they leave home. And so the pace of life, because the pace of life is so hectic in the world that we live in, okay, because we haven't clearly fought through this issue of a goal, we end up with this goal. I just gotta, we just have to get by.

And you don't think long range. You help them prepare for the proficiencies here. You help them get ready for the next thing that's on their, their homework, the last thing done for tomorrow. To get them to the next activity. Okay, we got to get this kid here, we got to get this kid there, and we got to do this, we have to do that. Because life is so hectic, but the only goal you have is we just got to get by.

We got to survive till tomorrow. And that's where a lot of parents are. They haven't even thought about what they want their kids to be when they leave home, but boy, they've got all kinds of stuff going on. So it's just, we got to get by. All right? I want my kid to get by.

Or this one. I want my child to be well behaved. See, what in the world is wrong with that? It sounds good. But it's cut off from a biblical understanding of our goal to serve Christ's kingdom. It's more than just getting compliance.

Alright? For a lot of Christian people, this is where they end up. I want my kid to comply. I want him to behave. The question is why? why why do you want to do it what's behind that and so this just becomes a just start manipulating the kids or or just making them toe the line you haven't thought about their mind you haven't thought about anything else you're just thinking about they gotta be well-behaved for whatever reason here's another one that's real I want my child to give good education That seems to be the big one today And the reason why is if they well educated they do fine I could go on and on about this one.

We live in a society that says all your problems are solved if you're not ignorant. The problem is, everybody's ignorant about the wrong things. They're ignorant about the things of God. And they've got hard hearts. So I want to get a good education. I want a child that I can control, or I want a child that I can control.

You know, I've seen this in parents. Some parents have to control everything. Some parents are afraid of being dependent on their children. And they have to control everything. Okay? Some parents have an idolatrous lust for everything to remain the same.

I don't want any change. And so they do whatever they can to keep control. Okay? Okay? And this whole business about our children. And again, the goal helps you with this.

When they start to be 14 and 15 and 16, they don't agree with you about everything. You can start earlier. But they don't agree with you. How are you going to handle that? How are you going to handle that? And the fact that I just want my kid to be compliant.

You can slap your kid back on the track all the way through life. So that he's doing what you want him to do and when you want him to do it. The problem with that is what? What happens when he leaves home? Is he ready to handle the things that are coming at him? No.

No. So control is not, shouldn't be your goal, but with a lot of people it is. The question is this, if you want to know what your goal is with your kid, then examine your attitudes and your actions with your kid. Look at your attitudes and your actions with your children and that will give you an idea what my goal is. Maybe you've never thought about the goal.

Maybe you've never given this much thought. But if you start to watch your actions and your attitudes your goal will become evident Okay I could tell you in the early years with my boys it was I want boys who won embarrass me and I want them to do whatever I tell them when I tell them to do it Period Right It easy But that wrong That what God has for us alright so let's start building this let's start building what is a godly goal for our kids what can we say can help us and I've given you a list of things I've handed out here these will help us build a a goal for our children that God wants for them Okay? Okay, let's look at Matthew chapter 5, verse 16.

First of all, okay? Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. It says 15, verse 9. It's 5. Thank you for...

I was going to tell you to do that, but I forgot. It's Matthew 5. Okay? Matthew 5, verse 16. Want me to read it? Yeah.

Okay. Read it. In the same way, let your light shine before others so that they may see the good works of your glory to the Father who is in heaven. All right. God says this to us. I want you to live in such a way that when people look at the way you live, they're going to talk about God and not about you.

They're going to say God's real. They're going to say God is really important. All right? God makes a difference. Look at chapter 1, 20. I love this verse.

Because when the Apostle Paul is writing this, he's in prison. He's waiting for a hearing that's going to determine whether he lives or whether he dies. And what he says here is, well actually it doesn't matter what happens to me. That's not the important point here. There's only one thing that matters to me. If they let me live, that price to be exalted.

If they chop my head off, I want to live in such a way under that pressure that I can So that Christ is exalted. What happens to me is not important. I am not the main player in this drama. The only thing that matters is that Jesus be seen. Okay? So one of our building blocks is this.

I want to bring them up in such a way that they will glorify God. They will have that in their thinking. I want to live in such a way that Christ will be seen, or that they will talk about God and not about me. Okay? Psalm 73, 25 and 26. Whom have I in heaven but you?

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is my strength of my heart and my portion forever. All right? This is a verse that I think, these two verses have a tremendous impact on me. This is what I call, this is where I want to be headed. I want to be so connected to God that no matter what happens here, He's still the most important.

Right? Who am I wanting to have in the two? Earth has nothing I desire besides Him. I'm saying, no, that's not exactly true. That's my goal, and it's my goad that keeps pushing me in that direction. Psalm 63, I haven't handed that out.

Psalm 63 is the psalm that David wrote when he had been chased out of Jerusalem. His son had mounted a palace coup against him and was successful, chasing him and his forces out of Jerusalem. It looked like that his son was going to take over the kingdom. He's out in the desert. Here's an older guy who's used to the comforts of the palace, out in the desert because of the rebellion of his son.

And when you read Psalm 63, he says, I think of you through the watches of the light. Right? You're what I think about. I've seen your glory and what you offer is better than anything and it just struck me in the worst of circumstances he finds great pleasure in God so I want to think about my kids finding pleasure in God seeing that God has been given to them for their pleasure that they enjoy God alright All right Matthew 20 and Hitchin report When Jesus came and said to them all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me go therefore go therefore Here Jesus says go out and make disciples of me I'm going to make disciples of Jesus.

Now what's a disciple? What is a disciple? Here's the best short-handed definition of a disciple I've ever heard from a mentor of mine. A disciple is someone who's translating truth into life. Someone who's translating truth into life. Someone who's obeying.

Doesn't just know the commands of Christ. Obeys the commands of Christ. He's translating truth into life. That's what I want for my kids. I want them to be able to translate truth into life. I want them to be disciples of Jesus.

That is, they will follow Jesus. And when we get into tough situations, I want to have been involved in their life in such a way that when Adam or Eve, someone does something terrible to them, they're going to turn around and love that person. That's what I want for them. I want them to be a Matthew 5 kind of a person. Not a hypocrite, but one who gives generously.

Doesn't care if anybody narrows. I want them to be that kind of a person. By the way, you know, one of the best places to make disciples is the Lord. Because you're with those people all the time. And if you can't, again, my mentor, Dr. Jude, once said this, one of the reasons why you have to have your house in order before you can assume a place of leadership in the church is this, if you can't make disciples at home, you won't be able to make them in the church.

The home is a great place for discipling. All right? Alright, Proverbs, I'm sorry, Hebrews chapter 12, verses 10 and 11. It's okay, Lindsay, I remember who I sent it out to. Lindsay, I find that in the pulpit, I can never find a verse in the Bible. for a short time as it seems best to them but he disciplines us for our good that we may share his holiness For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Alright. Part of my goal for my kids is that they know holiness and righteousness. That they have a hatred for sin. That they have a desire to follow the commands of Christ and God. And everything I do with my kids has got to be oriented in that direction. And I want for them.

That's how God works. Okay? That's how God works with his children. Okay, Proverbs chapter 1, verses 1 through 4. Did it? Okay.

I want to live a prudent and disciplined life with the ability to do what's right and just and fair. Or you could say, maybe put it shorter, I want them to be wise. I want them to be wise. Not just smart. But have the ability that when a difficult situation comes up, they can think through it scripturally and be wise. Understand, okay, here's the course of action we can take.

I think that's really important. That when something comes up, they're not stumped. They say, oh no, what are we going to do? I have no idea. What would be a good situation like this? I want them to be able to see and to understand how God looks at that situation and what he would tell them to do.

2 Peter chapter 1, verses 3 and 4. His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, and a knowledge of Him, to call us to His own glory and excellence, by which He has granted to us His precious and great, great promises, so that through them we may become partakers of divine nature and escape from the corruption that is the world because of examples All right I want them to have the ability to handle God Word In 2 Peter chapter 1, he's saying you are going to have power for changes in your life as you know Jesus. Your knowledge of Jesus is the channel through which power comes for you to be able to grow.

And then he also goes on to say that the promises of God help us escape the corruptions of the age. All of this is in the word of God. I want them to be able to handle God's word. All right? So that they, not that they can rattle off to me without missing it, every, you know, every book of the Bible in order. Okay?

It's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the ability to say, wow, here's a problem. What does God's word say about it. Let's investigate. Okay? So I want them to be able to handle God's Word so that it's not just an academic exercise, but it's that which transforms their life.

They understand the connection between the Word of God and their lives. All right? Matthew 15, verses 1 through 20. Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not want to be of the Jews. He answered them, Why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?

For God commanded, Honor your father and your mother, and remember, Revile's father or mother must serve God. And as you say, If anyone tells his father or his mother, What would you have gained from me is given to God, and ye need not honor his father. So for the sake of your creation ye have made void the word of God, and ye did the prince. Well, did Isaiah prophesy of you when he said, This people honor me with their flesh, for their heart is far from me?

And they, do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of the heavens? He told the people to him and said to them, Do you not understand? It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth that defiles a person. Then the disciples came and said to him, Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?

He answered, Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up. They are blind guides, and if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit. But Peter said to him, explain the parable to us. And he said, Are you also still without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled?

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. or out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what devour a person. But to eat the one more thing is what devour anyone. Okay? You know what Jesus says here? He says it's not this outward stuff.

You have to worry about it. It's not heart. It's not heart. It's not heart. Where everything starts. But you know what's going on in your heart, right?

You lie. Why? Why? Okay? What we tend to do is to say, as long as I can arrange the outside, everything will be fine. Everything will be fine I heard of a guy recently He running his household and these girls are starting to want to dress a certain way So what does he do Boom Real simple Strip dress code That it Boom Dress code Here what you can wear Here what you can wear That it What he didn't know is he had a daughter who was struggling with, I just want to be accepted by everybody.

I'll change the way I look, I'll change the way I act, I'll even change the way I talk so you will accept me. And this was driving this girl. So what did dad do? He had no idea this was going on. What was driving that girl? This idolatrous lust for acceptance. what was driving her.

But he never addressed that problem. Boom, dress code, solved problem, solved. No, it didn't. In fact, it produced more problems. It produced resentment. Because the dad was not interested in getting to know his daughter.

You see? And that's what Jesus is talking about here He talking about the fact that become aware that problems on the outside started on the inside So can you look at your own heart and understand what going on How is what appearing out here starting in here in your heart in your thinking Okay? Ezekiel 14, verse 6. And certainly the elders of Israel came to me and sat before me, and the word of the Lord came to me.

Son of man, these men have taken their idols into their hearts, and set the stumbling block of their iniquity before their faces. Should I indeed let myself be consulted by them? Therefore speak to them, and say to them, Thus says the Lord God, Any one of the house of Israel who takes his idols into his heart, and sets the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and yet comes to the prophet, I the Lord will answer him, as he comes with the multitude of his idols, that I may lay hold of the hearts of the house of Israel who are all strange for me and their idols.

Therefore, save the house of Israel, thus says the Lord God. Repent and turn away from your idols and turn away your faces from all your abominations. Alright, where do these idols are identified as residing where? In the heart. You know, God is saying to the prophet here the problem is not on the outside they worshiping something else in their hearts The same thing Jesus is saying here just a little different spin a little different metaphor For example, this girl's a prophet.

She has an idol. I want acceptance. And I will bow down to that idol. And that God will give me the direction that I'm going to go. Okay? there's idols in our hearts, things that are more important than honoring God. Are you aware of those idols?

Proverbs 4, verse 23. Keep your heart with all your children. All right? All of these together, okay, everything comes from the heart. I want my children to have a biblical self-awareness. I want them to have the ability to say, okay, this is what's going on.

Why? Where is my heart strained? what am I worshiping what am I serving what's the sin in my heart, in my thinking that's driving this what do I love, what do I hate where are my affections set on I want my heart to be right Genesis chapter 2 verse 24