Godly Teaching

All right, we probably ought to get started here. Let's, if you all have notes, the notes are on the table if you need to get a copy. Looks like you're all set though. so let's pray and then ask God to help us and we'll get going Father thank you again for your word which addresses every area of our life including parenting we're thankful Lord that you have sent a redeemer who can free us from our sins that we can be the kind of parents that we ought to be Lord even though we fight the corruption of sin in our hearts yet we know that your spirit guides and leads us and teaches us so now we're asking that you would that he would teach us and guide us now help us lord in this for your glory and we'll thank you in jesus name amen all right god has given you a destination to reach we've talked about that a few weeks ago he's given you a destination to reach the question is how do you get there of course that destination is I want my children, by the time they leave my household, I want them to glorify God by becoming independent godly disciples who love and serve God, who love and serve their neighbor, and who can handle life by handling the word of God.

How do we get there? How do we get to that destination? Well, according to Ephesians 6.4, which says to us, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. We get there on two rails. Those two rails are discipline and instruction. Those are the two rails.

All right? Thank you, Austin. I left my phone down there, and surely someone would know I was busy right now. Be that as it may. those two rails are discipline and instruction both of them are necessary in order to reach that destination we talked about discipline already the word discipline that used here in Ephesians 6 4 is the same one that used in Hebrews chapter 12 verse 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Here, discipline is described as something that is painful. That's the same word used here, the one that's used in Ephesians 6.4. It's used for the training of an athlete. and even Hebrews 12 says that who've been trained by it and so this is something that's painful that trains us and so that's what discipline is now that's one rail and it's only one and we have to remember that certainly in a culture that's lost the concept of authority insisting on something and then bringing consequences when that authority is ignored or defied we tend to go a little bit overboard We tend to think that discipline is the answer.

And again I say, it's not just discipline, it's discipline and instruction. Both are absolutely essential to reach that destination. Now the word instruction that's used in Ephesians 6.4 is the word nuthetao. Now nuthetao is a word that means correcting by word of mouth or to place into the mind. It's not the same thing as just teaching. It's the closest word, basically, in the New Testament to counseling.

It's correcting by word of mouth. It's teaching in order to bring someone from this point to this point. And so what he's talking about here is we need to discipline, okay, to bring the painful consequences to bear, and then we also need to instruct our children to be able to correct them by word of mouth, to give them answers, okay? Again, this is the word that I think comes closest to the idea of counseling.

You see the word used, for example, in Titus chapter 3, verse 10. If you want to turn there for a moment. Titus chapter 3, 3.10. as for a person who stirs up division after warning him once and then twice have nothing more to do with him the term there is warning is warning romans 15 14 talks about as long as you have goodness and are full of knowledge you are competent to instruct There it's translated instruct.

Sometimes it's translated admonish. But it goes beyond just the means, just the idea of just teaching a lesson. It's the idea of aiming specifically and moving people in the right direction by word of mouth. training by word of mouth. Okay? Now, the first question we want to ask is, why should you teach? Why should you teach?

Well, one of the reasons why can be found in 1 Peter chapter 2. 1 Peter chapter 2. Actually, that citation is wrong. It's 1 Peter chapter 1. Yeah, it's 1 Peter 1, 22 through 25. There it says, Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere, brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart.

Note, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable through the living and abiding word of God. For all flesh is like grass, and all its glory like the flower of the grass. the grass withers and the flower falls but the word of the Lord remains forever and this word is the good news that was preached to you notice that we have been born again through the imperishable seed of the word of God so one of the reasons why we need to teach is it's a primary means of God's grace use God's word in your teaching God promises to bless the word of God now he says here that it's the means by which the Holy Spirit regenerates us. It's the means of regeneration.

No one has been given a new heart or born again apart from the Word of God. No one, let me say it again, no one has ever been born again apart from the ministry of the Word of God. It's the Word of God that brings about regeneration. The very sharing of the Word of God plants the seed of regeneration. Now that does not mean that every child is going to be transformed and born again and become saved.

You're going to be converted. But don't deceive yourself into thinking that just yakking and telling your children good life principles is going to do the job either Bring the Word of God to bear The word of God is what you use to instruct them It is the word of God that must have a bearing on their lives. It is the word of God that produces that regeneration.

All right. Primarily, we need to teach because it builds in your children inner convictions. You instruct or admonish to gain a personal commitment to truth, a personal commitment to truth. This is not stuffing their heads with facts, rather gaining or building inner convictions so that you build within them these convictions that will take them through life and that will cause them to understand correctly, to think correctly, to act correctly.

It's building those convictions in them okay for example when you look at daniel you know we we oftentimes look at daniel as a role model i mean when i was a kid we had a sunday school song and i don't know that it's even sung anymore called dare to be a daniel all right and the idea is be like daniel who stood against the onslaught of wrong and when you look at daniel and his three friends it's interesting Were they the only four people that were taken out of Judah and hauled off in exile to Babylon? No. There were hundreds, if not thousands of people.

And what happened was when you read the story, you know, Daniel and all those three friends, we all know them as Daniel and then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. The three names that we always say are Babylonian names. Daniel was also given a Babylonian name, Belteshazzar. okay all four of those names are names of Babylonian gods and the idea was that what Nebuchadnezzar would do is take the best and the brightest from the places he conquered would take them to Babylon and would train them in Babylonian learning so that they could become administrators in the empire he's kind of wise that way take people from the countries that were conquered use them to administer his empire.

And in order to do that, you know that in that very first chapter where Daniel says, we can't do these things, right? We can't eat this food. It goes against the covenant that we're a part of. And his three friends went along with him. They were hauled, uprooted from their country, taken away from their home. away from their parents, away from everything that was familiar, everything that was once theirs is gone.

They were given different names that would point them to different gods. They were given pagan learning. They weren't just taught how to be good administrators. They were taught pagan religion, all those sorts of things. All that was going on, and yet they stood for God. Why? when there's no outside pressure no parents to say anything to them no no um and by the way all the other people that were taken with them evidently collapsed under the pressure why didn't they because they had inner convictions because they had um the the stuff that would keep them going they believe certain things and they were going to remain to that they were committed to God's word.

And so what we're talking here is building inner convictions. We have to see that not just the bottom, but the minds of our children are important. Now, that's the other rail upon which you and your child travel in order to reach your God-given destination. Don't be fooled into thinking that as long as you're a strict disciplinarian, and your children will do well.

Nor should you think that teaching alone gets the job done. Both of them are necessary. Discipline sees that the lesson is learned. Instruction teaches them the lesson. But both of them are essential in order to reach the goal of a child who will glorify God. So why do we do it?

We want them, it's a means of grace, and it builds in your children inner conviction, so that when they leave, they will live for God because they believe it. OK. How should you teach? OK. How how how should you teach your children? And here we we almost always land here.

And this is important. And we ought not to to ignore it. But you should teach formally. Are there times when you teach? There are such things as sitting around the table and reading the Bible together, family worship. teaching formally with you know sermon notes do you ever you ever get home with your children and say okay on sunday and say okay what was the sermon about or do you sit around and pick apart the pastor grammar I don know what you do but what do you do Do you talk, use that, talk about what did we learn today?

What did you learn today? What's your takeaway from what you heard today? There's nothing wrong. You know what's really good is our catechisms for teaching our children. The one that we're using right now for church, our confession of faith for this year, 52 questions one question per week that's a great catechism we gave those out those are good for teaching your children going over those you know every every week your children come home with sunday school papers that they can fill out use those see see how those can be used you can talk about books another thing that you can do is see the needs and weaknesses of each child and start teaching in those areas take them aside and start telling them about that here's here's a weakness that you see what can you teach them what does god's word say about that there's all kinds of resources that can help you in this area some of which are out there and you can look at those and they're helpful you know we can't plead ignorance on this we can't say i don't know how to do this because there are tons and tons and tons of materials out there telling us how we can do this.

You know, the issue is, and this is a challenge in my family, the issue is just finding the time to do it and following through. Now, if I were to say what's the most effective, I would say teaching informally was probably the most effective in our family life. The informal kinds of teaching. What are we talking about when we're talking about informal teaching?

Turn back to Deuteronomy chapter 6. Deuteronomy chapter 6. And if we start in verse 4. Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. How do they get on your heart?

He goes on to say, you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise okay you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontless between your eyes you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates verse six and seven talks about you impress them upon the hearts of your children by teaching them in in informal ways when you just as you're going along, just informally, Dad, what's this all about? And you teach them. As things happen in life, you teach them.

So it's not the formal sit down and let's go through this. It's the informal times when you're driving, driving along and something comes up in the conversation. You can say, well, you know, here's what God says about that. OK, here's another one. And the rest of these are kind of variations, if you will. The next two are variations of.

Well, no, they're not variations. Here's what we mean by teaching informally. OK, here's what we mean by teaching informally. Turn to Joshua for a moment. Joshua chapter 4. So how do we teach informally?

Joshua 4, verses 6 and 7. Excuse me, my eye fell on Judges 4, 6 and 7, and it did not look right. Who wants to read that for us? Someone has it. Read it. Joshua chapter 4, verses 6 and 7.

All right. So they build this memorial and they build this memorial so that in future generations, as you go by, the children will say, what is that all about? So here's one informal way of teaching, by question and answer by question and answer By the way I not looking at your notes Is that in your notes question and answer Okay then what I have here is what it is So here the first informal way Question and answer You know, one of the first things that your children are going to ask you is this.

Can I have grape juice too? When we have communion, right? can I have grape juice there it is there's a question you got a wide open opportunity now to teach about the gospel and about what communion is all about when they ask you questions why is this happening dad why why are the kids at school so mean well you can talk about that well because we're all born perverted depraved rebellious people we're born that way we're not made that way we're born that we're not made that way in the sense of our our environment isn't the only thing but we're born with a with a a um uh twist a perversion we don't want to do what god says naturally so question and answer the your children are always asking you questions do you give them biblical answers why is that dad well son life is unfair oh that one drives me crazy right now when you say life is unfair you're saying god's really blowing it because he's the one who sovereignly planned everything is carried out by his providence so you god's providence is giving you a raw deal that's what you just taught when they say why why do these things happen you can give them answers okay so the question and answer here's another one by normal life situations normal life situations this um when i say in our family the informal way seem to to bear the most fruit is because we're we we try to constantly talk about these things so deuteronomy 6 for example says you teach them when you're sitting at the table for dinner you teach them at playtime at bedtime when you're walking along okay the deuteronomy 6 gives you the idea that that this kind of thing happens it's just in the normal course of life you're you're walking somewhere, you're getting up out of bed, all those things. So normal life situations, like what do you teach your children when crises arise, when they have a crisis?

How do you handle that? What do you teach them about God? How do you teach them when they have to make decisions? and choices. How to make that decision. So they're faced with a decision. Am I going to do one thing or another?

Well, what does God say about that? When they're complaining and they need to learn contentment. Okay? When the boys start calling. I'm sorry. When the boys start calling on your girls, or the girls start getting interested in boys, that's the time to start teaching, if you haven't already.

By the way, you know what? We told our kids from kindergarten on, we said, you know what? God says you can only marry a believer. I mean, we started that in kindergarten when they came home, and you already knew they had a crush on some girl or some guy in their class. We made that a point that early, okay? Normal life situation, right?

What God has to say about term papers and projects, right? So your child is not doing so well and just hates doing them. He said, what are you going to tell them? What does God expect from them in their terms and their term papers and their projects? He expects them to do their best. You're to honor and glorify God in the work that you do.

And so God wants you to give your dead-level best. If your dead-level best only gets you a C, fine. But you've done your best before God. You have devoted yourself to your work. Because, look, I hate these things. They just scribble something out and hand it in.

Okay, wait a minute here. You're to be diligent, right? God calls us to discipline, diligent life, hard working, right? Where do we learn to work hard? When we're not out slaving at a factory, we're at school. You work hard at your school work.

You learn to do that. When they get jobs, are you teaching them when they get jobs or are you encouraging them to get jobs when they can handle it? when babies are born into the family, when he or she does not make the team, that's a real ripe time for teaching. Okay, look, not everyone's made the same. God has gifted different people different ways. You're not gifted that way.

So in the normal life situations, this is where teaching really hits home. okay grab those take those use those they are so important i can tell you how important they are I think and I say it again I think most of the teaching we did as parents happened in these situations. Of course, in our family, sitting around the dinner table every single night as a family led to lots and lots of discussions. Okay?

And, um... Oh. You know, here's one I won't forget. When the boys were in their band, right? They had their band. Arson's Daughter, if you've never heard of it.

It was the worst music ever. It was awful. what's it called yes what did you what genre of music was that oh you do too you just don't want to admit it now I call it screamo but I don't know if that's the hardcore okay and uh you know that was that was times to and listen I'm not of the I'm not of the conviction right I'm not of the conviction that if I don't understand it, it can't be godly music, right? I mean, I went through that with my parents, right?

What is this rock and roll stuff? This is terrible. Oh, no. So anyway, so the issue was not this is wrong, stop. The issue, we would talk about things like, okay, explain to me what art is. Explain to me why this is music.

Their mom would say, if you can't harmonize with it it's not music and i would tell them do not do not play your music at home do not practice so the lynches had the burden there of the practice area but it would lead to all kinds of discussions about what is music what are you trying to say in your music is this a a christian worldview or is it not you don't have to have lyrics that preach at people right you don't have to be screaming jesus is lord believe in him or go to hell you don't have to do that but are the words that you're putting out there, do they reflect the way a Christian looks at the world? We had all kinds of discussions about that. Those were very fruitful discussions.

Okay? When the girls would have all their friends over in fact I loved those times Those were fun Okay I really got to like girl parties But that often led to discussions as well, right? That led to discussions with them as well. So there's all kinds of normal life situations that grab them and use them, because they'll learn from that. I think you learn more when you see how the word of God is intersecting with life more than just, okay, blah, blah, blah, here's what you need to learn.

This is important. Don't get me wrong. This is important. But a lot happens here, so don't lose the opportunities here. You teach by your example. Now, that doesn't strike you as necessarily radical, does it?

But look at 1 Corinthians 4 for a moment. I think we misunderstand the statements that the Apostle Paul makes. And we kind of say, boy, that sounds like arrogance. But it's not arrogance. It's him explaining some things in the right way. 1 Corinthians chapter 4, beginning in verse 14.

I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you. There's our word again, by the way, nutheteo. But to admonish you as my beloved children, for though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. I urge you then, be imitators of me. Now we may look at that and say, well, that's pretty arrogant.

No, it's not. What the Apostle Paul is talking about here is discipleship. This is the biblical way of teaching. What's discipleship? Discipleship is show and tell. I don't just tell.

I don't just tell you what to do. I say, and here's what the truth looks like in my life. All right? So look, we want to teach our sons to love their wives like Christ loved the church, who gave himself up for her in order to present to himself a bride that is spotless and blameless. We want to teach them that, and that's good. We ought to teach them that.

But do they see it? We ought to be able to say, imitate me in this. Here, what does it mean to love a woman? Right? What does it mean to love a woman? This is what it looks like day in day out They see what it means And you can say look when Jesus says love your wife like Christ loved the church this is what it looks like in everyday life.

This is what it looks like in everyday life. So, whether it's work, spouse, all those sorts of things, you can teach them by living out what you are verbally teaching them okay they ought to be able to see when i look at this commandment what does it look like it looks like that when i see in the commandment make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and to work with your hands so you're not dependent on anyone they see that they say ah i read that in the bible i I can see dad doing that. I can see my mom doing that.

Okay? So it's important that you teach by example. Do they see your sensitivity to the word of God? When you fail, are you the one that repents and asks forgiveness? They ought to be seeing that from you. When they see you, you know what?

This is something I had to learn. Do you remember? Do you remember? We've taught here oftentimes that a problem is solved. depending on how wide the circle is. So if I sin, Matthew 18, if you sin against me, who do I talk to about it? Just you, right?

But what if I sin in front of a group of people? Then I've got to deal with that problem with that group. So there have been times where I've lost my, I've gotten very angry with my wife in front of my children. Guess what? I can't just go to my wife and say honey forgive me I was really wrong there when I lost my temper I got to get them too they got to be there and I've got to confess that as sin to them as well because they were there you see do they see that kind of sensitivity do you live consistently with your value system what do your actions say about church attendance let me ask you if your children were I'm preaching to the choir here.

You guys are making the time to come out at night. But, right? They learn by showing that. Do they see how we communicate to solve problems? In trials, do they see endurance and joy or do they see giving up and grumbling? Do they see you loving people that aren't very lovely?

Do you have neighbors that, you know, they're hard to live with and they're unlovely, but do they see you loving them? Do you show them how to handle mistakes and failures? So you teach informally by question and answer, by normal life situations, by your example, okay? So those are ways that we can teach informally. Now what should we teach? Now, boy, we could go on and on for another couple hours on this.

I've just picked out a bunch of things that I think are important. But if you notice in your notes, I've given you ten suggestions on what to teach your children. That was what Randy Patton gave us two years ago when Randy and Cindy were here to do parenting with purpose. And I talked to Randy about that and said, where did you get that? That's great, ten.

It's easy to remember. And so those are good too, but I'm just going to give you the ones that I've picked out over the years. Number one, teach the gospel. The gospel ought to be part of your conversation. When I say teach the gospel, I do mean formally, but I also mean informally, right? When a bully, when your kids get into a fight and one of your boys cleans the clock of the other one, you finally got them separated and you're talking to them and you say, what were you thinking when you hit your brother?

Well, he was being mean to me. Well, what does the Bible say about what to do with people that are mean to you? Does it say hit them? No. Well, what does it say? I suppose I'm supposed to do good to them.

Yeah, that's what it says. That's what you should be doing. But I don't want to do that. What do you do with that? You say, well, I know you don't. You need a new heart.

God has to transform your heart. The Holy Spirit has to give you new birth for you to want to do it. Right? There's a wide open. When you teach the gospel, you teach it also informally. It's not just like hand them a tract and say, study this.

Although that is a good idea. Okay. Oh, by the way. By the way. How many tracts do we have now? 800.

We got 800 tracks for 50 bucks We going to be putting them out there And it was a really good deal It got tons We got tons of tracks now that we can use Not just with your kids but with all kinds of people All right But it was an incredible deal So anyway they be they be out there I don know Whenever Sharon finds the time to do it all right um but teach the gospel and the informal things i remember one conversation we had with our kids i don't know why this stands out in my mind i don't but i do remember this sitting in the living room which is unusual because we almost spend 90 of our time around the table but this time we were out in the living room and um we got to talking about something i don't know what it was but here's where it led they said do you know that only people with perfect records get into heaven i remember what what people only people with perfect records get into heaven yeah well how's that possible dad because no one's got a perfect record no one can make it then yep that's right well then how is it possible and you know we use the illustration of everybody's given a test when they get into this world and that world is to love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself everybody gets an F on the test but what happens when you believe in Jesus God erases your F and gives you an A plus that when you show up at heaven's gates and they say let me see your test scores you can confidently hand over a perfect record you got an A plus I remember that conversation I don't know how we got to that conversation I just remember we're just sitting around talking and it ended up that way so teaching the gospel is more than just by the way it's not driving for a decision either it's not driving for a decision i've got to get them to the point where they make a decision you minister the gospel and you minister the gospel and you minister the gospel and if god in his gracious sovereignty grants repentance you'll see it it'll happen right now it doesn't mean you can't say you need to trust in jesus but don't be looking for the magic moment just keep ministering the gospel they'll ask you questions well then how can you be saved well you you can you know ask the lord jesus to save you and tell him that you trust in what he done and just accept what that done Are you going to do it now Right You just minister the gospel consistently And watch what God does with his word. Teach the purpose of limits. Limits are the stuff of life.

You know, our children, our young people think that when they get out from under our roof, they are going to be free at last. and all of us who are out there know that's not the case that there are tons of limitations on you you don't get to do what you want if you don't want to show up for work they don't have to give you a paycheck right purpose of limits that's the way life is there are limits and there always will be limits so teach the purpose of limits this is especially true in the younger years of life teach attentiveness obedience and the honor of parents grab that one from the earliest moment on okay because this sets the foundation for just about everything else okay teach them doctrine don't be afraid to teach them doctrine now that's going to involve you know we talk about God's sovereignty. We talk about salvation. We talk about sin.

You talk about man. You give them the doctrines that they need. And by the way, you know what doctrine does? Doctrine builds a world view so you can understand the world correctly. If you don't give them the theological categories of understanding, they will never understand the world. This is a God-created world.

And the only way of understanding that world is by theological categories that God gives us in his word. okay i don't know how you can make sense out of the world okay by the way here's what i mean by that last statement um without these categories these are the main categories i think in which everything else falls okay creation fall redemption consummation the whole storyline of the bible right there without those four categories you will not understand the world without those four categories you will the world will not well you'll try to make sense out of the world and you'll mess it up you will not understand without those four categories teach them doctrine teach them biblical values okay jeremiah chapter 9 verses 23 and 24 these stick out in my mind because my philosophy professor signed all his correspondence with this verse Jeremiah 9, 23 and 24. Thus says the Lord, let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches but let him who boasts boast in this that he understands and knows me that i am the lord who practices steadfast love justice and righteousness in the earth for in these things i delight declares the lord what are your biblical values are they they're not in your wisdom they're not in your might they're not in any of these things you ought to be able to boast from the fact that you know God. One, I can't remember who it was, some friend of mine years ago said, beware of the world's four B's.

Beauty, brains, brawn, and belongings. Now when your kids are in high school, especially, these are the big four. Who do they make the most out of? Number one, they make the most out of the brightest kid in the class, right? The valedictorian. Oh, they make a big deal out of him.

Or the star football player, okay? The guy who's really made, done well. Or the girl that's the prettiest, or the most popular, the beautiful ones, or the ones who have the nicest cars and who have the most stuff. And this is especially true when our kids are in high school. These are the big, these are the four b's these are the ones that really count we got to teach them biblical values what really counts right what really counts i think that's important i think it's important you know um jay adams in one of his books jay's a the granddaddy of biblical counseling but jay in one of his books said this he says you know what we've done for example in this whole idea of brains right what we've done is we have singled out particular gifts of god and said those are really worth something while ignoring the other gifts right if someone is really smart boy that's really something but that person is really smart is gifted in that area where someone who's not as quote-unquote let's call it book smart has gifts in a different area.

Why do we emphasize this above these? We've just contradicted what the Bible says. The Bible says, I don't gift everybody the same. 1 Corinthians 12-14, those chapters. I don't gift everybody the same. Different people have different gifts.

Why do we single a few out? I think he's really on to something there. So we ought to be able to teach them, God has gifted us differently. These are biblical values, not those right there, but teach them biblical values. Teach them to be good stewards. All right?

Teach them to be good stewards. God has given them everything they have. They ought to take care of it. Right? They ought to take care of that. Teach them to solve problems and to make decisions biblically.

So when your kids come to you and they say, my friend in the youth group or my friend at school has been doing this and treating me this way, do you say to them okay look i'm you know you need to be talking to her about that now what you can do is to say okay let's so let's take it apart what are you going to say how are you going to approach her what are you going to do when's the best time to talk to her but this is real important matthew 18 says if your brother sins against you go and show him his fault just between the two of We need to be teaching young people this. That's really important. Of course, we have to model it as well.

Teach them to love and to serve others. Philippians chapter 2. Let this mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who did not think equality with God, something to be grasped at all costs, but gave up the glory of heaven to come in, to serve us, and to take the form of a servant, even to the point of dying on the cross, even to the point of crucifixion.

Are we teaching them to love and to serve other people? Okay? How do we show that in our example? This is the second greatest commandment. Are we teaching them how to obey that? Teach them to live by faith and not by feelings.

Okay? Teach them to live by faith, not by feelings. Not to go with their feelings. 2 Corinthians 5.15 says, And he died for all that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for him who died for them and was raised again Is that what we teach our children Don go by what you feel like doing or what you don feel like doing You say what does God say And step out in faith and do it Teach them to live by faith I'm reminded of this in Hebrews 11, 24-26 is where it talks about Moses, who even though he was living in Pharaoh's household, chose to be identified with the Israelites.

Now you think about that. He probably, as a prince in the Egyptian house, probably never would be pharaoh, but nevertheless would have had a high position, an easy life. But he chose to be identified with the suffering of the people of God. Why? Because he knew that there was something better in glory, according to Hebrews 11. He knew the promises of God.

He knew there was something better, maybe not in this life, but in the life to come. And he knew that. and he lived that way. Teach them how to return good for evil. This is so important in a world today, especially in the movies. The movies we watch make a big deal. Hey, not even the newest movies, the old movies, right, are filled with revenge.

The good guy who's always in trouble and he wins out in the end by just wiping everybody out. We've got to teach them otherwise. Teach them how to be content. We brought nothing into this world, we'll take nothing out, it says in 1 Timothy chapter 6. Teach them to be content. Contentment with godliness is great gain.

So you know what that means? That means you've got to be the kind of parents who aren't always buying stuff, who are not communicating, we'll be happy if only we had more stuff. Be content with what you have. In fact, 1 Timothy 6 says that we ought to be content with clothing, shelter, and food, and that's it. We don't need anything more than that. Now, he's not saying you can't have a car.

Please don't misunderstand me there. But just a bare minimum, we ought to be content with that. Teach them how to be good workers. This is one I think is extraordinarily important. This was one that guided us with our kids. We live in a world where laziness is rampant.

Unbelievable laziness. People work for a couple days and say I don like this and off they go We must teach our kid to be good workers In the world in which we live today, I believe, in the world in which we live today, if you're a good worker, you are going to shine. That is one of the best testimonies for Christ in the world, in the age right now, in the culture in which we live.

If you're a good, dependable, solid, hardworking person, that is going to stand out. Okay? That's going to stand out. I remember several years ago talking to someone who is not from our church who was talking to me about someone in our church. And said to me, you know what, that guy is a good worker. he's one of the best workers we have in our shop he shows up for work every day he works hard he does what he's told and i am convinced that this is one of the things that is going to shine in the culture in which we live i've told some of you if i don't know if i ever told this story from the pulpit i'm not sure but the first job i ever had was working for a guy it lived a little bit outside our town.

He was a landscaper. But he also raised Herefords. He would show Herefords like he'd take them to the Iowa State Fair, the Minnesota State Fair, and all that kind of stuff. Big, big, big stuff. And got lots of money for his Herefords. But he primarily was a landscaper.

And his name was Warren Brown. And I got a job there. I I was 15 years old, and I got my very first job other than my paper route, which doesn't count. So I got my very first job working for Warren Brown, and he was a hard nut. In both senses of that word, he was hard and he was a nut. And his view of helping you be a good worker was to ridicule you in front of all the other guys.

All the other guys who were, all the workers for him were, you know, friends of mine from high school. And I hated it. Oh, I hated it. I hated that job. And so I said, I want to quit, Dad. And my dad said well you can quit Why not Because he hired you and you have a responsibility to work for him But I don want to work Too bad, son.

You're going to work. And I said, well, what if I want another job? He said, well, you can find a job when you've got the time to do it. I said, but I can't do it. because we work six days a week and they're 10 hours or more a day. And you're not going to let me go looking for a job on Sunday. His response was, well, you're going to work then.

And I hated it. But I learned something from that. You know what it was? You work, whether you like it or not. You go to work. and I had tons of jobs after that. Some of which I liked, some which I hated.

But I learned, right? And what happened? What happened was I learned that when I had a family, if I got a job and I hate it too bad, you've got responsibilities to your family. And you do it whether you like it or not. And that is something that is not taught today. And that's something that we need to do.

We need to teach our children to be good workers. I don't want to get in a love fest with my dad, but I really respect him in this area. I respect a lot of areas, but this one in particular. I can remember standing with my brother, and our church was made almost entirely of dairy farmers. Our church was a small church in Wisconsin. Everybody were dairy farmers, which is interesting because that meant we didn't start Sunday school until 10, and we didn't have evening services till eight at night because they had milk and he said to us remember we're standing somewhere and he said boys i want to tell you something don't ever think that if you don't get a manual job working with your hands that you're better than people who work with their hands because you're not you know why because work is honorable before the lord whether you're sitting behind a desk or preaching and teaching like i do or whether you're milking cows.

It's all honorable before God. Don't ever be ashamed of working with your hands. And you know how I saw that? When my dad retired from the ministry, he wanted to go into a itinerant kind of ministry, right? Where he traveled to different churches. But that doesn't just Start right away.

You've got to start getting known. So you know what he did? Here's my dad. He was, let's see, he was about 62 years old, I think, when he resigned his last church and he moved to Minneapolis where Mary and his wife was from. And you know what he did? 62 years old.

He got a job at a Piggly Wiggly grocery store, mopping floors on third shift. right this is after i don't know how many decades of ministry right so this is something i think that's important i really spent a lot of time on this haven't i because i think it's important here's another one teach them how to be good spouses you always remember you're raising somebody's spouse and you want him or her to be a good spouse think of the other person so teach them how to be a good spouse teach them what love is teach them what submission is teach them how to communicate all those sorts of things are important so there's much to say about teaching our children but one thing we have to be convinced of and that is teaching is absolutely necessary teaching is absolutely necessary if you tell me tonight, I don't know that much. My response to you will be then start learning. Take the time to learn.

You've got to learn these things. You've got to learn what it takes, what God says is important. And take this to heart and you become a serious disciple so that you can disciple your children. Okay, it's kind of skimming off the top of this whole area of teaching. Do you have any questions on this? What can I, I'll try to answer if I can.

Yes, Elaine. What was the four things you said for the doctrine? Four things for doctrine. Oh, okay. Creation, fall, redemption, consummation. that's the whole bible story creation fall redemption consummation consummation being the end of the age when god puts everything the way it supposed to be the way he intended it to be everything operating as it should Okay As you follow those four everything built on that Without that you not understand the world Okay?

Jules? How do you teach them to be a good spouse without being like married to that? well you you teach them to be a good spouse while at the same time telling them the single life is a good thing that didn't answer your question did it or did it you know what and by the way i think that is a great question because listen all of us older married people here the church has made a big deal out of marriage, which is okay. We should be.

But what we've done is neglected singles. And we've put the pressure on them to almost say, by our example and by our words, unless you get married, life just isn't that good. And we've got to learn to do a better job of communicating marriage is typical so i want to teach you to be a good spouse but i also want to tell you that living the single life is a good thing of serving god and like first corinthians seven you have more time to serve god in a in an undistracted way than someone like me okay first yance and then steve yance what's that paul was single guess who else was single yes Jesus was single how to be a what yeah yeah that's exactly right and the whole thing like communicating how to communicate and solve problems that has to be that has to be really modeled in the church in a major way in my family and in the church okay you know what can i let me just say this i think god has blessed this church because we've made it a priority to solve problems in biblical ways and not just shove them under the rug or just ignore them or whatever the case may be and i think that leads to great blessing It does Yanns Actually what Bethany said is one of those Yeah the idea of being taught how to be a good spouse That can be lumped together with how to love those you're in relationship with.

Those in the church, those in our home. Yeah. Yeah, and you know what? How to be a good spouse means how to be a good, solid, mature Christian. Right? Okay.

Lee? Do you guess we are going to get to those who are teaching young children who seem to be repeating the same lesson over and over again? Yeah, here's what I would say. Here's what I would say. What we have a tendency to do is to say, I've taught on this, I keep spanking them on this, we keep going over and over and over, they just don't seem to get it. what we have to see is that I'm not going to say okay I've done this now for six months why aren't you getting it we've got to think about it we're in the long haul and sometimes it takes a long time to get the lesson learned and so my word of encouragement is you just stay with it just don't give up if you're teaching and if you're disciplining and you're doing both that's the means that God has given just stay at it just stay at it and by the way and I haven't said much about this and it's my fault and I think I should you've got to pray a lot you've got to pray you've got to be praying for your kids so that's what I would say Lee you've just got to stay with it yes, Jeremy Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Assault folks. well I think you're right and that's how God constructed the church so we would depend on one another and by the way I was just talking to someone about this just the other day you know what to do this biblically it just so hard it it takes so much more work than just to you know respond the way i responded to my kids it takes much more work to do that and i just don't think i'm i'm capable of that turn to 2nd Corinthians 12.

2nd Corinthians 12. Verse 7. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord. And that word pleaded is an extraordinarily strong term he's like saying i begged god i begged him to take this thorn away but he said to me my grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness therefore i will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses that the power of christ may rest upon me for the sake of christ then i am content with weaknesses insults hardships persecutions and calamities for when i am weak then i am strong if you ever get to the point where you say yeah i'm up to this job you're in the wrong spot god gives us children to tell us that man you are weak you want you want your sinful heart to be exposed have children my goodness and so we're in a position of weakness and that's where you should be because that's when God's glory shines the most with that in mind don't let your weaknesses then keep you from saying I don't want to let anybody know I'm struggling go to those who can disciple you in parenting go to those who've been through it go to them like Jared I like that Jeremy because that's what we're here for.

We're here to help one another. Okay? Any more questions? Okay. Well, I hope this has been helpful. Frankly, I'd love to ask you questions and give you an exam, but I won't.

You know why teachers give exams, don't you? They want to know whether they've done the job of communicating anything. No, students, they don't do it to make your life miserable. Although that is tempting. sometimes. All right, let's pray, okay? Father, we're thankful for your word.

Again, we're so thankful for your word. Thankful for how you have worked in our lives. We're thankful for the fact that you are good and gracious. And we thank you for the good gifts of our children. We know, Father, they're good gifts because we love them and we know that they are the way you bless us. And yet we also know, Lord, that they are the way that you sanctify us and you help us to grow you help us to see our weak spots and our sins so that we will grow more to be more like christ we pray father as you have put these things together for us that we would rejoice in what you are doing in our lives in jesus name amen