When Kids Make Bad Choices

do tonight at the at you notice in your notes at the beginning of every of the main headings there's a bunch of scripture so i'm gonna ask people to volunteer and so when it's time to read it i'll let you know but let's spread those around so we can read those passages and they'll set the give us the setting for what we're going to say then all right so let's uh let's pray shall we father thank you that we can look into your word thank you for a word that is sufficient that helps us to deal with every issue of life. We pray that you would be gracious to us tonight and give us the ability to hear, to absorb, to learn, and to walk differently. Thank you now, in Jesus' name.

Amen. Well, let's begin with a story. Parents, let's say you have a couple friends. We'll call them Bob and Joyce, and you sit down with Bob and Joyce. You have Bob and Joyce over for dinner, and so they come over, and as you're talking, here's what unfolds. Now, they are your friends, and they have three children, okay?

Bob and Joyce are faithful parents who are at church every time the doors are open. They have family devotions. They pray together. They provide for their children the best way they can. Sure, life has its bumps along the way, but there basically were a happy family, at least until now. Now there's Butch, their 16-year-old son.

Bob says, he's totally out of control. He's rebellious, stubborn, and easily angered. He hates school. He's constantly on his cell phone. We don't know who his friends are. It seems the only communication we have is arguments.

Everyone ends up screaming and yelling. We make threats, but it doesn't seem to do any good. We've tried everything, but nothing works. We're embarrassed at church, and every night we've fallen to bed exhausted. Joyce says, we never expected to have a child like this. God promises us if we train up a child in the way he should go, he won't depart from it, even when he's old.

We keep asking ourselves, why hasn't God kept his promise? What have we done wrong? What are we going to do? Is this situation hopeless? They seem to think it is How can they be helped So you thinking about this with Bob and Joyce You wondering what they can do Well the Bible speaks clearly about sinners speaks clearly about stubbornness speaks clearly about the things that we need to do in those situations And the Lord has placed them all in a situation that's going to challenge them to look at their hearts, to repent of those sins that they see, and to follow what Scripture outlines for both to do.

Parents oftentimes haven't really been taught what the Bible says about how to deal with stubbornness and rebellion. Now as we begin, let's look at Proverbs 21, verse 6. Proverbs 21, verse 6. Alright, someone want to read that for us since it's taken me forever to get there? Proverbs 21, verse 6. That's not it either.

Sorry, Dennis. Wow, I got the wrong reference. This is a great way to start out, isn't it? There it is. It's 22.6. I'll read it.

Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. People like Bob and Joyce are going to say, But we did everything. We took them to church. We had devotions. We prayed together.

Why doesn't God keep his promise? What's the problem here? And so many people look to this for their hope. Number one, always remember, this is a proverb, not a promise. This is a proverb. And, you know, other proverbs say, if you're lazy, you'll end up in poverty.

And you can say, I know some lazy people who are rich. Well, this is a proverb, and it's all things being equal, well, this is what's going to happen. The second thing is we've misunderstood this proverb, and I think this is more important. Number one, or I should say this, if you translate this literally, it's train up a child in his way. That's the way.

That's literally what the Hebrew says. Train up a child in his way, and even when he's old, he will not depart from it. So it's not so much a proverb as it is a warning. You train him up in his way, in his stubborn ways, and the ways that he wants to go and he won depart from it when he old Okay So it more of a warning It not a promise It a warning to us Don train up a child in his way in his depraved natural foolish way If you do, he won't depart from it.

Besides that, Ted Tripp says in his book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, I love this part where he says, some people ask me, if you raise your children the right way, won't God promise that they'll be saved. And his response is, I don't get any comfort or hope from that. I don't get any comfort and hope from that because I don't know that I've done it all right.

He says, I'm ready to join the ranks of the parents who look back and say, boy, I wish I could do it all over again. Okay. And so there's no comfort in that. There's no comfort in the fact that if I just do everything right, my kids will turn out right. Because do you ever do everything right? Right.

So be careful of this, of of misunderstanding what God is saying. Now, let's talk then about let's talk then about what we do in the face of rebellion and where we want to start is with the parents. Too often when we talk about rebellious children, we're always talking about the children. We're not talking about the parents and we need to talk about the parents. because God presents an opportunity to the parents.

All right? All right. Someone read for us Deuteronomy chapter 8, verses 1 through 5. Deuteronomy 8, 1 through 5. Who will read that? All right.

Greg, read it for us. The whole commandment that is demanded of you today, you shall be careful to do, that you may live more of life, and go and possess the land. the Lord has sworn to you and to your fathers and you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these 40 years in the Lord's that he may humble you testing you to know what is in your heart whether you would keep his commandments or not and he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with man which you do not know nor did your fathers know that he might make you know that man did not live I'm not going to tell you one, but man lived by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these 40 years Know that in your heart that as a man disciplines his son the Lord your God is good Alright, so, this hardship of a rebellious child is an opportunity for parents to understand what God intends to accomplish in their lives. And that's where we have to start.

And here in Deuteronomy, we can see that in this hardship, God intends to humble parents. In every hardship, not just rebellious teens, but in every hardship, parents have to learn humility. And that's no less true when it comes to rebels in our family. It's a hardship. I need to learn humility. and parents often need to discover that they have sinned grievously against their rebel and must seek his forgiveness and remove the logs from their own eyes first.

So they need to start with themselves first. They need to humble themselves. And oftentimes, let's face it, parents are more concerned with their reputation with others than they are with the spiritual welfare of the child. They're more concerned about what other people are going to think. So God intends to humble them. God also intends to test their hearts.

Deuteronomy, again, verse 2. He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, something you did not know. I'm sorry, that's verse 3. That he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, so you know what's in your heart, whether you will obey or not. And when any hardship comes, the impurities float to the top. You remember that, that when the heat's on, the impurities will come to the top.

When the heat's on, in every situation, but even in this one, what sort of impurities come to the top? Are you just really angry? Are you impatient? Do you find yourself being anxious? What's coming to the top? The impurities will come to the top, and the heat of the situation will reveal what's in your hearts.

It'll reveal what you're worshiping. Psalm 73, 25 and 26 of course says, Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire beside you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion, my treasure forever. And so it causes you to ask, what is there besides God that I'm wanting here? What desire is coming out of my heart?

Is it a desire to save my reputation? Is it a desire to regain the child no matter what the cost? Is it a desire to make him pay for what he's doing? What's coming out? What's coming out of your heart? And in this situation, will these parents obey God in doing the difficult things that he may command in this situation?

There are some difficult things that you may have to do as a parent. And are you willing to obey Christ to do that? Remember, God tests the heart to see if you're willing to obey him. God also intends to help parents to depend on his word. Are they willing to learn from that word? Again, notice what it says, that I did this so that you would learn not to live on the things that you can see and taste and feel and touch, but that you will learn to depend on the word of God. do you believe the promises of God how do you interpret this difficulty how do you how are you going to approach this child in a way that honors God are you willing to believe the promises of God in hardship or will you despair will you learn the promises of God in an even deeper way are you going to grow in trusting the Christ revealed in scripture and love him more or will you stake your joy on what happens with the rebel right the west the best way of of of knowing whether you can depend on the word is that question am i staking my joy on regaining that person now obviously you know what your heart's broken and there will be joy if you do recover them but are you staking everything on that so you're absolutely miserable because of of that rebel?

Are you willing to believe the promises of God? Are you willing to listen to the Word of God? Are you willing to have your worldly wisdom upset by the Word of God? He's bringing this into your life to drive you to the Word in order to help you depend on the Word even more than you have before. God also intends parents to listen. All right, someone read for us Proverbs.

Who read Proverbs 18.2? Proverbs 18.2. Who read it? Alright, Caleb. Levi, Proverbs 20, verse 5. Okay go ahead Caleb Okay, the fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but just expressing his own opinion.

He's not interested in understanding. All right, Proverbs 20, verse 5. All right, the purposes of this rebel's heart is like deep waters, but a man of understanding is going to try to draw it out. Rebellion often has deep roots. And here's what you hear a lot of parents say. They'll often attribute the rebellion to the fact that, well, our family moved.

He was in his junior year in high school, and now we moved across the country, and he's got to make all new friends. And so he's rebelling because of it. Or they're starting to hang around with different kids, and that's causing it. Or they started to listen to heavy metal music and you know what that does. So they want to attribute it to these sorts of things without realizing that maybe this rebellion has deep roots that go back years and they've never really listened to the frustrations of the teenager, frustrations that go back all those years.

They've not asked the questions. They just want to slap the kid back on the tracks again without taking time to understand it. Now, is there any excuse for rebellion? No. And I would say that even if your parents are the worst in the world, God tells you what? He tells you to return good to your enemy.

If your parents are your enemy, then do good to them. He says we have to subject ourselves to authorities that are wicked. It's over and over through the Bible. So there is no excuse for rebellion. But I also have to admit that as a parent, I can tempt my children towards sin. I can, as the Bible says in Ephesians 6, 4, fathers do not what?

Do not provoke your children to anger. I can construct things in such a way so it's easy for them to go down the way of rebellion. And quite possibly, this will be the first time that they become a man of understanding, where they actually ought to sit down and say, son, I want you to talk to me. Tell me what's going on. Tell me what you see as the root of this.

It's obvious that, you know, you're not wanting to go in the direction that we've laid out for you your whole life. Tell us about that. We're listening now. We want to know. And too often they don do that God intends to help parents learn to listen at this point Alright Let look at Mark 14 25 Who will read that for us Mark 14, 25-27. It doesn't just have to be men, by the way.

Mark 14, 25-27. Alright, Jeff. Read it out loud, buddy. hmm I don't think that's the right verse Jeff oh man I hate when this happens it's another 25 to 27 Tyler be careful all right well i'll tell you what 25 through 27 i'm trying to find it's where jesus clearly says jesus clearly says that you have to love you have to love me more than mother father son daughter or anyone else you have to love me above of all things.

You've got to hate your family to love me. Now, Jesus isn't saying then that, Jesus isn't saying by that, that you've got to actually hate them. But he's going to say, people are going to look at you and you're going to say, it doesn't matter whether my child returns or not, I'm going to be obedient to Christ, whatever that may be. I'm going to be obedient to Christ.

Christ means more to me than even my child. And someone looking at you will say, well, you must hate your child if you're willing to do some difficult things. Okay. Is anybody listening to what I'm saying? Because I know you're all looking for those verses now. What is it?

Luke. That makes so much more sense. Luke 14, 25 to 27. Someone read that. Note to me, change that reference. Alright sometimes God going to ask you to do difficult things And there are so many there are many parents listen there are many parents who are willing to keep the rebel no matter what the cost They'll subsidize his rebellion, they will keep him sheltered in their home, they will do many things, but they won't do what Jesus commands them to do. more on that later but sometimes it's a test to see whether you love Jesus more than you even love your children you know by the way one of the things that just um um listen this is the one thing I hear a lot when I when I'm just in conversation with people or when I'm actually counseling parents this is the one I hear a lot well the 17 what are you going to do what are you going to do let's talk about some things you could do right you know if your son is giving you grief and saying i don't want to do this anymore see fine you can pay your own car insurance that oh by the way i did buy that car didn't it's in my name i guess you don't have a car you know just things like that um sometimes that's what you have to do you have to take a hard a hard stance of obedience to christ now that's not always the right thing and again we'll talk about that later but there are too many parents who are willing to compromise so well what are you going to do that's just the way a 17 year old acts no you've got to be able willing to follow Christ the other thing is that God wants you to remember his agenda all right what are we talking about here well let's look at this someone read Romans 5 3 to 5 not 1 to 5 but Romans 5 3 to 5 Okay?

Charlie, you read that. Another volunteer for James 1, 2-4. Alright? Keats? Hebrews 12, 5-11. Yance?

Okay, Romans 5, 3-5. all right so here paul says you know i can actually rejoice in my suffering because i know what suffering does suffering produces perseverance stick-to-itiveness if i stick with what god is telling me to do it's going to change my character and when my character changes i end up being actually a person of hope not a person that's despairing. And so I like to call this like the golden chain of suffering. This is the first link, second link, third link.

And so what they need to know is God's agenda is not to remove the trial, but to change them. James 1, 2-4. Consider it for you, dear brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Okay, now read verse 5 as well. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God. He gives generously to all without money. Alright? Okay, so, James here says you've got hardship in your life. It's in the form of a child who's not wanting to do what's right.

That's a hardship. What does God intend to do? He intends to produce perseverance in you and to produce mature faith. And oh, by the way, when you're at the end of your rope, you ask God for wisdom. Okay, I don't know. And again, I almost hate to say things like this, but it's true.

There are times it's like, oh God, I don't know what to do with these kids. Help, please. You ever been there? I have. Yeah, absolutely. Right?

One night in particular, one night in particular, I don't know what was going on. this is years ago i remember being in the kitchen late at night becca standing by the kitchen sink and i got my head on the table and i'm saying are we doing anything right okay um lots of time for prayer but the point is god's agenda may not be to remove the trial god's agenda may not be to restore that child but his agenda certainly is that you change in the midst of all hardship God expects you to change. Okay? Hebrews 12, 5 through 11.

If you are left without discipline in which all participated and you are illegitimate children of my son besides me we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we rejected them Shall we now much more be subject to the Father of spirits and life and live For they disciplined us for a short time, and it seemed best by them. They disciplined us for our good, that we may share his willingness. For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant.

All right. God expects us through the trial of a rebel. We know this from the word of God to help us to share in his holiness and to know the peaceable fruit, the peaceful fruit of righteousness as I grow in putting on what God wants me to put on. And so God's agenda may not be to restore the rebel, but his agenda certainly is that you grow and you change.

Most parents in this situation have as their goal the removal of the rebellion and getting everything back to normal. They want to get back to the glory days, those wonderful days when their children never argued with them and when their children were obedient and believed everything and never questioned their judgment. They want to go back to this nostalgic age that, quite frankly, probably never was.

But that's what they want to do. That's their goal. and God's goal is, no, wait a minute, I haven't promised you that, but I have promised that I will change you in the midst of difficulties. And so when we talk about rebellion in our children, we don't start with them. We start with us. We start with what God's teaching us. We start with what are the impurities coming to the top and how do I need to change and what is God teaching me and how am I growing in perseverance and mature faith and how is this perseverance changing me that I'm a person of hope.

That's where we start. Alright? And so God wants us to start looking at ourselves first. Now, God also presents an opportunity to the rebel. Alright? Someone read for us Galatians 6, 1-5.

Galatians 6, 1-5. Whether it is a thing of the top in your expression, Amen. All right, here's this passage on restoring someone who is caught. By the way, not caught, uh-huh, I caught you, but trapped. Caught, like in a trap. Caught in a sin.

Trapped in a sin. And it may encourage his parents to come alongside and help. Because look, look, too many parents at this stage don't see their child as a brother or sister who's caught in sin and they need to be restored. They're not interested in restoration of someone's trapped in sin. They want their life easier. They want this rebel to get in the line so life gets back to where it ought to be, what we want it to be.

And God wants them to see that child as someone that needs to be restored, as someone who's in trouble, someone who needs to be restored. And as they do this, the rebel may for the first time sense that his parents actually care for him. And if they humble themselves and seek his forgiveness, he may be much more open to receive help as they walk in humility.

Now, of course, I'm not saying that if you do that, suddenly the rebel is going to snap and say, wow, you really do care for me. Okay, I'll stop my rebellious ways. No, but it will open up the door at least to maybe start that process where he's starting to see maybe my mom and dad really do care about me. All right. It may be the first time that he is challenged to understand his own straying heart.

It may be the first time that mom and dad come alongside him and begin to build the bridges and ask the questions, and often they need to learn to do that with the help of other people. And they may have the chance to address the heart. It may be the first time that that happens for him. So it's an opportunity for him to gain someone who will come alongside and help.

We've already looked at these passages before. Proverbs 18, 13, right? He who answers before he listens, that is his folly and his shame. too many parents are willing to answer before they have listened and they need to listen look even if you have let's just say it done everything really well and you have a rebel on your hands you still have to take the opportunity of getting to know what going on in his heart You still got to make the attempt Now I know oftentimes rebels they say I don want to talk to you And sometimes that's what happens.

All right. But, but you still have to be a faithful parent in seeking to understand what's going on and what's happening in his heart. It may help him to see that the goal is not to cease his rebellious ways, but to find joy in trusting and obeying God. John 10.10 Jesus says, I have come that they, his sheep, may have life and have it to the full. I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.

Too many rebels, the only thing they hear is, get back in line kid start obeying God do what God says all of which is true but we tend to forget what Jesus says and that is by the way when you do that you'll have a better life your life will be great your life will be joyful John 15 9 through 11 Jesus says that I've remained in my father's love why because I remain I obeyed him so you remain in my love by obeying my commands that as you experience this love, as you obey my commands, and my joy will be in you. And so what they need to hear more now than get in line, you crazy rebel, do what God says, they need to hear, why would you forfeit a good life? Why would you forfeit that?

Why do you want to do that? Right? By the way, when I've talked to young people in the past in our church who are starting to veer off the path, I sit down with them and I'll say, you think Jesus is a liar? And of course, they've grown up in the church. What are they going to say? No.

You don't think he's a liar? No. Well, then what do you do with this? Is Jesus lying to you when he says, if you follow him, you'll have an abundant life? Is Jesus lying to you? I think that's a question, by the way, that's a question I have to ask myself a lot of times when I'm tempted to sin, right?

Is Jesus lying to you, Tim? No. Well, then don't go that way. Right? But I think that's what they need to hear oftentimes. That's what they need to hear.

You're forfeiting something good. You're forfeiting something good. It may give him the opportunity to seek help. Proverbs 18.17 says, The first one to present his case seems right, till the second comes and questions him. Matthew 18.15-20. Now we all know that passage.

We almost like to skip over that passage because it seems unpleasant to us, where Jesus talks about the whole process of trying to make peace by confronting someone with his sin. If he doesn't respond, you step up the process. You get witnesses. You tell it to the church and so forth. Most kids, it's possible. Is it possible that his parents have exasperated him in some ungodly ways?

He needs an opportunity to speak. He needs an opportunity to speak. he has the right to seek reconciliation through the means jesus provided and the wise and biblical church will get involved in these situations they'll get involved we need to get involved by the way we have in the past we we need to get involved and listen you know what most rebels expect to hear when the church gets involved which is why they often don't want to go to the church? What do you think they hear most?

What do you think, what do you believe they think they're going to hear? Yeah. Do what your parents tell you. That's true. They need to. But they think that's all they're going to hear.

And often in times where I've been involved in these situations? I sit down, parents, child. And I'll say right out, you know what? I'll bet you're thinking right now that I'm here, that I'm your parents' hired gun, and I'm here for them. And by the way, that's usually what they're thinking. Right?

I said, I'm not here to take sides. And this is trite and contrived. It's going to sound trite and contrived, but it's true. say I'm not here to take your side and I'm not here to take your side. I'm here to take God's side. Whatever that's going to be, I need to understand what's going on. And so oftentimes that's what we need to do A rebel is going to find hope if he sees that his parents are going to be confronted about their sin as well as his And so oftentimes it may give him an opportunity to seek help When they get to this point they not used to that But I think, honestly, I think if we have a culture in our church where our children understand that their parents must be obeyed, but that they're not ultimate in authority, that there is some authority over them as well, that they'll be able to come to the church before they get to the rebel stage and say, I need help with my mom and dad.

Are you all listening? You ought to know that. You ought to know that if you think your parents are sinning against you, you do, as a member, you do have the right to say, I need help. I need help. Okay? All right. the last thing we want to note is this god presents an opportunity to see his peacemaking dynamic operate again matthew 18 15 through 20 first corinthians 5 i've got the whole chapter there that's the story of the man who's involved in public immorality and um he's paul the apostle Paul says you need to put him out and at the end of first Corinthians 5 let's look at it at the very end of first Corinthians 5 he tells them to turn this man over to Satan not to indulge him anymore not to indulge his sin but to turn him over to Satan and then he says at the very end verse 12 of first Corinthians 5 for what have I to do with judging outsiders right isn't that those inside the church that we're to judge right we're not in the business of judging outsiders we're in the business of winning outsiders but insiders those who are part of the church we do judge we do make judgments and so he says god judges those outside purge the evil person from among you so first corinthians 5 is about removing that person from fellowship and turning him over to Satan.

All right, turn over to 2 Thessalonians chapter 3 verse 6 Now we command you brothers in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you receive from us For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it. But with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate.

For even when we were with you, we would give you this command. If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busy bodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good.

If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of his person and have nothing to do with him that he may be ashamed. So there is the Apostle Paul again writing in particular about those who are lazy and the church discipline dynamic. OK. Now, look, here's a real important thing to see. Okay, so there are some parents on this end of the spectrum who are saying, I don't want to do anything.

I want to love the rebel and I'm not going to confront him and all that sort of thing. And then you've got parents on this side of the spectrum who say, fine, you don't want to live by the rules, out. Okay, you're done, get out. Leave the car keys and leave. Go find another place to stay. All right.

The first thing we have to see is parents cannot break this relationship until they pursue biblical peacemaking. They can't say that to their children. You say, wait a minute, there are kids. Yes, they are. But you don't have ultimate authority. And and by and Jesus makes it clear that we're to be known by our unity and that we do not break any relationship between believers until the church has passed its verdict.

Matthew 18 you don't treat him as an unbeliever until you go through the whole process and you do not break a relationship between believers until the church has had its say many parents neglect the means that God has given and that is the church and they often become hopeless saying we tried everything we done everything we could And the point is no you haven You haven involved the church yet And they have to be encouraged to use this process in order to gain the rebel child. Now, there's nothing flashy about that, is there? If you do it that way, you're not going to be able to write a book about how you regained your prodigal and all the wonderful, marvelous things that you did, like some people do. but it's the means that God has provided when there is a break in fellowship between any believers.

Parents don't, you know, some parents say we don't want to compromise our holiness. Well, that's fine. But don't start sending your kid out until you've gone through the whole church reconciliation process. This assumes, of course, that the rebel is old enough and is a member of the church as well. All right. Although if your child is not a member and not a believer, you still ought to try to use the church as much as you can.

Get help as much as you can. Now, look, parents then must submit to the church's judgment if that becomes necessary. That is to say, some churches are willing to say get out or some people want to say get out now. they need to wait for the church the parents over here once if they go through that then they have to be willing to submit to the judgment of the church and to say son you got to go after they've gone through the process it's time for you to go it's not only the right it's also probably the duty of asking the child to leave home but there are a lot of parents unwilling to do that they don't want to give their children over to satan's rebuffs as apostle paul says in first corinthians five they don't want them to experience hardship they don't want them that to happen to them and and and paul says look sometimes you have to turn people over to satan so that he beats them up for a while and they realize the folly of their sin and they come home they come back but that's not going to happen until you turn them over and so sometimes parents have to submit to the church's judgment and do that too many parents are willing to subsidize and offer comfort to the prodigals he continues in his sin and they're not allowed to do that Now the last thing we're going to say is this, sometimes you have to involve civil authorities.

Sometimes you have to involve civil authorities and that may be necessary if there's an evident danger from the rebel. You know, sometimes I say, and I think often, they didn't teach me, they didn't tell me about this in seminary. What do you do when you have parents sitting there and they're telling you, I don't know what we're going to do. We're so afraid of our kid that every night we lock all the bedroom doors of our bedroom door and the doors of our children just so this, you know.

You hear things like that. What are you supposed to do? Sometimes you have to involve the civil authorities. Sometimes they must be involved. Now, this reminds me of some very wise counsel I received many years ago when I was going through the certification process. and I was involved in a, if you will, a domestic abuse situation. And some parents are going to say this.

This is what I heard. I can't do that to them or I can't do that to him, whatever the case may be. I said, call the police. Oh, I couldn't do that to him. I can't do that to them or to him, the rebel. I can't do that.

Why not? Well, that would just be terrible. I don want to do that to him I don want to ruin their reputation I don want to give them a police record I don want to do that And I remember relating this to my supervisor His name was Doc Smith And Doc says to me you know what that person is saying to you I got a better idea than God. Why? Because Romans 13 makes it clear.

Now listen. Okay, everybody looks at me, pastor, and Greg, and the deacons. We're ministers to you, right? We minister to you. well Romans 13 says that the policemen and the judges are also God's ministers I'm not the only minister where the leadership here is not the only ministers in your life there are ministers that are working for the government they are God's ministers for good and that's why you don't have a better idea than God sometimes you have to involve the authorities because there is evil that must be restrained and consequences that must be paid if that isn't to continue.

Now, there are some alternative Christian organizations, oftentimes where you can send rebels, but good, solid Bible counseling Christian organizations are few and far between. Sometimes it's just get them on a mountain and beat the snot out of them by all this hardship, and then they get willing and then we send them home You know Be careful of those Always remember this is though a last resort We need to remember that So always keep in mind that the first place to look in the in the face of a child in rebellion is at your own heart. Look at your own heart.

God's going to use rebellious teens oftentimes to work change and work godly character in our own lives and that goes beyond merely ending the rebellion of a kid gone bad. Alright? You have to see this as the restoration of a brother or a sister caught in sin. Not the restoration of a golden age. Not the restoration of a reputation. It's the restoration of a person.

And never forget that you're never alone in regaining the rebel because God has given you a community of believers at least and at least in some instances just getting advice, getting mature guidance to involving some people in the church peacemaking dynamic. Whatever it is, that's what God's given you. All right? Okay. Questions I figured you have tons of questions on this one I might be wrong What that Guess not all right well this means that next week we're back to our normal schedule and although in a number of you who are saying yay and rejoicing at that i might remind you that some of you lean pretty heavily on me and and greg to go to this evening service format so do not rejoice too loudly okay what all right so next week we're back to our normal schedule um should i say it one more time to see what happens let's pray okay thanks father for a time together thank you for your word help us as we seek to navigate these waters and Lord I just pray that in every way your name would be honored and glorified as we seek to obey you we thank you in Jesus name, Amen