Every Mother Should Know This

I want to give a word to moms today. As we look into the Word of God, I want to encourage you. Before we do that, though, let's ask God to open our hearts and open His Word to us. God of heaven now we thank you for your word which is our foundation guides us takes us where we need to go shows us you, reveals your son is sufficient for all that we face so help us now help us now as we look into your word not just moms but help us all to profit from this for the glory of your name that it may be exalted, that Christ might be seen clearly by those around us.

Thank you. In Jesus' name. Amen. Do you know the one place that's a fountain for wisdom and living life? Walmart and Meyers. when you go through the checkout line you see all the answers to life like the key to a successful business how to be an effective parent five steps to financial independence what every husband needs to know you see that all as you're checking out of those places and wouldn't it be nice if that were the case i would love to be able to sit down and in one reading read what every husband needs to know and find the secret behind being the best husband.

That would be so nice, but you know that's not the case. It doesn't happen that way. However, this morning I will be so bold as to say that I want to tell you moms the one thing every wife and mother needs to know. You may be sitting there saying you're joking, right? No, I'm not, because I do believe that there's one thing that every mom and wife needs to know.

Now, I'm not going to say that after today's sermon you will have the key to being a successful mom and so all your troubles are going to dissipate and you'll be the perfect mom and wife you could ever possibly be if you just learn this one secret I not saying that because we know that not the case We know that wisdom comes as you carefully apply the truths of scripture over time wedded with faith and discipline as you grow spiritually But this is one thing that every mom needs to know. It's an essential building block, I believe, to the wisdom necessary to being a wife and a mother. So this morning I'm asking you to turn to Philippians chapter 1.

Philippians chapter 1. I'm going to read two verses here. If you have the English Standard Version, you will see there's a break in verse 19. We'll start there at that paragraph break. Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, this will turn out for my deliverance. As it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage, now as always, Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.

Now in your mind's eye, I want you to see the Apostle Paul in a rented house in the city of Rome. Now he's not sitting in this house sightseeing in Rome at the time. What's happened is he is chained to a Roman soldier 24 hours a day. He is chained there as he waits for his trial before the most powerful man in the world, the emperor of the Roman Empire.

And if you would have the full picture, he will be on trial for his life. Within a matter of days, he finds out whether he's going to live or whether he's going to die. His life hangs in the balance. you say to me well that's interesting to know but what in the world does this have to be what what does this have to do with being a wife and a mother well let me suggest to you that if you're on the verge of dying wouldn't you start thinking about what's really important in life wouldn't you really start thinking about what is really important in life and Paul does that in this chapter and as he does that you find a clue as to the very foundation of his life in his work what was the most important thing to him what was the most important thing to him and if we can figure that out we would have from God one of the most important foundations for living the Christian life Paul gives us that in verse 20 now let me just say this to you You may still be sitting there thinking what does this have to do with being a mom Let me say this.

You can open the Bible anywhere and find something that's going to say something to you as a wife and a mother. You know why? Because motherhood is just another venue of being a disciple of Jesus. We've got to get that in our minds. We've got to get that in our minds. You're not primarily a mother.

You are primarily a disciple of Jesus. Now what does a disciple look like as a mother? if you have that way of thinking the whole bible opens up to you as to what it takes to be a good mom because the whole bible is about what does it mean to follow christ you see moms you are following christ at home you're following christ as you relate to your children if you're a follower of Jesus, what's that going to look like at home? That's the bottom line.

And so what he says here to all of us does have relevance to you. I want you to look at verse 20 with me, because I think this is an understanding of Paul and what drives him. Hear what he says, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body okay whether by life or by death the one thing every wife and mother needs to know is this in all that you are in all that you do You as a mom, you must magnify Christ.

He says, there's one thing in my life that I want to happen, and that is to honor Christ. That is to exalt him, to hold him high, to magnify him, to make him look big. All right, that's what it's all about. And so the first thing I would say to you is make it your goal to exalt Christ now God the Father wants to exalt his son he has done that by exalting Him to the throne of glory after He was raised from the dead and He ascended to heaven God exalted His Son by placing Him on the throne of glory.

And He will certainly accomplish that when Jesus returns in all His glory and power. In fact, in the very next chapter, the Apostle Paul is going to write this, Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father. But until that time, until that time, God intends to exalt his Son, God intends to show his Son to the world in the lives of his people.

Jesus is to be exalted the Father has exalted him the Father will finally exalt him to the place where every knee will bow and every tongue confess that he is Lord but until then he wants that Lord to be exalted in the lives of his people and so you will exalt Christ you must magnify Christ as a mom that's got to be what your goal is with your children, with your husband with your neighbors, with everybody around you your goal must be I want to live in such a way that Christ will be exalted, that people will see Jesus. And the best way of exalting Christ is to look like him. I want you to think that with me.

What does it mean to look like Christ? Here's the first, the one that's under attack the most. Moms, be like Christ in your submission. Be like Christ in your submission. In the agony of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed, My Father, if it is possible, take this cup from me. If it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.

May your will be done. Now let me ask you, do you hate that word submission? Do you hate that word submission? Why? Why? Let me ask you this question.

Is it ever wrong to be like Jesus, who submitted to his Father? Is that a bad thing? Is that a horrible thing? Is that a thing you've got to grin? Or is it a thing you just... You've got to grit your teeth and bear with it?

Is that what it is? Well, Jesus submitted to something he did not want to suffer, but he gave himself up to his Father's will. Is it terrible to be like Jesus? The world wants you to believe that submission means that you're a second-class citizen. Listen to me. The world constantly is pounding into your heads.

Just listen to a news story that picks up on some evangelical Christian, and they'll say with horror, he comes from a church that believes that wives should submit to their husbands. And the world press puts that out there like it's a horrible thing. How could anyone expect that? That's second class citizenship. That's like being, oh man, how could you treat a woman that way?

Let me ask you something. The second person of the Trinity submitted to his father his entire life on earth. Is he second class? Is he second class? Equal with the Father, right? Our Orthodox creeds say Jesus is equal with the Father, and yet he submitted.

He had a different function in the Trinity. He submitted to his Father. Don't buy into this business about submission being such a second class horrible thing. Jesus submitted to his father his entire earthly life every day he lived in submission to his father let me ask you do you want your children to see Jesus do you want your husband to see Jesus do you want your neighbors to see Jesus in their midst then be like Jesus in your submission moms be a servant like jesus was turn to matthew 20 for a moment matthew 20 i must tell you that of all the commands of jesus this has been the one that's the most personal and most significant for me in my life is this one not to say that the rest are unimportant this one has had a particular impact on my life.

Matthew 20, 24 to 28, very familiar passage. And when the 10 heard it about James and John trying to get the jump on them and getting the high places of authority and when the ten heard it they were indignant at the two brothers but jesus called them to him and said you know that the rulers of the gentiles lorded over them and their great ones exercise authority over them it shall not be so among you but whoever would be great among you must be your servant and whoever would be first among you must be your slave. Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Hear what he says. You want greatness in the kingdom then you be a slave to everybody. This is what he says to all Christians but moms I want to direct this to you. What about you? And some of you already think I know what you're thinking already. Are you kidding pastor?

I am already a slave. I am already a slave what more do you want from me right and I understand that I remember the time where Beck had to be gone like for a day and I was left in charge of the kids I used to joke with her all the time I'd come home she said I didn't get anything done the children were this that and they were just clean I said I would tell her well when they grab on just shake them off and keep going right until I had to take care of them it was like how do you get anything done right I think I hope I have at least a little bit of an understanding about about moms okay it's exhausting work women work from sun up to sun down while many men believe they've earned the right to be lazy when they come home at night from work and kick up their feet while mom continues to do the work that she has to get done there you are guys one of you asked me if I was going to beat up on the men like I always do, even when I preach to the moms. There's your punch.

Okay? But let me ask you, have you bought into the world's philosophy that continually says, stop. You must stop serving others. Start looking after your own needs. Stop doing that. Stop stop living for other people i mean i see this all the time i read it all the time in the culture in which we live you're being told stop serving other people you need to to look at you you need to serve yourself you need to look after your own needs forget that listen the same philosophy would have said to Christ why will you die for these people They're ungrateful.

They hardly think of you, Jesus. Why will you die for those people? Didn't your disciples abandon you? Why would you die for them? Right? Jesus, stop.

Just do what you want to do for once. and he says no my death is the very model of what slavery to others is i live and i die for others jesus is the very model of that the question you have to ask is this what is more important to me being appreciated and noticed for my work or is it more important for you to be like jesus now look I'm not here saying guys don't worry about it don't ever say anything to your wives don't ever express appreciation I am not saying that what I am saying is when you look at your heart ask yourself this what's most important to me and by the way may I add that nothing or I should say absolutely everything that you have done to sacrifice for your family, every small sacrifice, every large death that you have died for your family is noted. And you will one day hear praise for that. Even if you never hear praise now, you will one day hear it.

I'm just going to detour here for a moment. But let me show you where I'm coming from. Hebrews chapter 6 verse 10. I don't want to go too far into this because I don't want to, you know. We're going to be here in a few weeks or months or however long it takes to get to Hebrews 6. But Hebrews 6.10, listen to what it says.

For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints as you still do. God is not unjust. so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown in serving other people. God is not unjust. He notes every bit of sacrifice that you make for your family. The point is do you want to be like Jesus now in serving in dying to self and serving others I know a woman in this congregation who always answers the phone with this statement, Oh hi, what can I do for you?

That's how she answers the phone. I love that. Moms, like Christ, be devoted to the will of God. If you want to be like Christ, then be devoted to the will of God. Jesus, in John chapter 4, made this incredible statement. My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.

How long would you last without food? How long would you last without food? Here's what Jesus says. His very existence depends on the will of the Father. His life is determined by the will of the Father. He lives, his entire life is just devoted entirely to doing and knowing the will of the Father.

Everything about him is determined by the will of his Father. Does God's will determine everything for you? Does God's will determine your meaning in life, in the role that you serve? What tells you, what is it that's going to give for you the meaning of your life? Is it going to be God's will or is it going to be the many philosophies out there? Does the superwoman model dictate how you think about what's important?

I'm going to do here, I can work here, and I can do this, and I can do that, and I can do everything. Is that what dictates to you your meaning? I've got to do everything or I'm not worth anything. What about the feminist agenda? Do you believe that real meaning for you as a woman is found in doing, as the feminists would say, doing real work and pursuing a real career as opposed to, you know, just staying at home.

Are you devoted to the will of God when it comes to understanding how you fit in the world? Now, what I'm going to say would, if I said this in public outside of these walls, I would be hammered. But let me ask you, God places a high priority on women being their husband's helper and co-worker. Do you? Do you? He puts a high value on a quiet and submissive spirit.

Do you put the same value on that? A quiet and submissive spirit? Spirit? What really matters in life? Does God's will determine to you what really matters in life? Is money very important to you?

How about material possessions? What does the will of God say in regard to those things? See, like Jesus, people need to see you devoted to God's will. That will that gives you the interpretive grid by which you understand the meaning of your role and what your role ought to be and what's really important in life that has to determine all that we are living in a culture women we're living in a culture that's pressing you into its mold and telling you the things that the bible says are just horrible awful things to actually assert that God calls you to be a helper to your husband is heresy in the cultural orthodoxy of today.

What's going to determine how you think about your role? Like Jesus, if you want to exalt Christ, be gracious. Matthew 11 turn back a few pages from where we are in Matthew now this is one of the most marvelous things said about our Savior and it should be a model for all of us to a certain degree we cannot offer salvation obviously but we need to be like Jesus Jesus says in Matthew 11 verse 28 Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Jesus was gracious. He didn't put burdens on people. He said, come to me with your burdens. You know what?

Jesus was so gracious that sinners felt welcomed by him. he was not judgmental he was not self he came to help he came to save and he came to rescue now let me ask you how does your family respond to you Do they find one who judges them or one who wants to help Even, even, I'm not just talking about our weaknesses but our sin. Moms, do you see your children when they sin, do you see them as people who need help and rescue? Or do you just want to judge them and just keep telling them how wrong they are and how God's displeased with them?

Which is true. But then what are you going to do to help them? What are you going to do to help them? Do you reflect the character of Jesus in His grace? Another passage in Matthew that I always love is Matthew chapter 9, where all these multitudes of people are following Jesus, and He looks at them, and what does it say? He had compassion on them, because He saw them as sheep without a shepherd.

Now, here's what gets me. And when you're reading that in the context of Matthew, you've got multitudes of people following Jesus. Why? Feed me. Heal my mother. Take care of my wife.

I've got this disease. Heal me. Multitudes following Jesus. They're users. They just want what they want out of Jesus. Now, if you had a bunch of users coming at you, how would you respond?

Here's how Jesus responded. He had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. Would you be that way? Moms, moms, is that the way you are? Right? I know, I used to say to my wife, shake them off and keep going, but she couldn't do that.

I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad she wasn't that way with me. Right? Are you compassionate? all right so make it your goal to exalt christ you do that by being like christ and we've just scratched the surface here haven't we let's move on make it your goal to exalt christ no matter what no matter what no matter what happened to him paul wanted those people to see christ no matter what happened to him he wanted them to see jesus note what he says in philippians 1 20 where he says that Christ will be honored in my body whether by life or by death now think about that no matter what happened to him the thing he wanted people to see was Jesus If he was granted life at his trial then if you read on he says then I going to minister I'm going to go all out and minister for Jesus.

I want people to see Christ. If I live, they're going to see Christ in the way that I serve. But then he says, I want them to see Christ if I die. I want them to see Christ if I die. If he dies, he does not want to prove cowardly or angry or bitter at his unjust death. Do you see what he tells you here?

What happens to me is not important. They can kill me or they can let me live, but whatever happens to me is not important. I am not the main character in this drama. Jesus is. No matter what happens to me, I want them to see Christ. In other words, the goal of magnifying Christ surpassed even his desires, whether he was going to live or die.

Listen, no matter what your husband is like, no matter how your children behave, no matter if you have a modest house, or if you don't have much money, no matter what, even if you don't receive much public recognition, you want people to see Jesus more than anything. That ought to be the way you think. No matter what your circumstances, whether life or death or anything in between, you want people to see Jesus.

But what we do is we want to put conditions on that and make problems worse then. I'll be like Jesus if you become like Jesus. That's kind of how we operate in our households. I'll be like Jesus if you be like Jesus. Right? I remember many years ago counseling a couple.

And the wife asserted this. I will be the submissive wife. I will be his lover. I will help him. I will be gracious. If he starts to change.

I'm almost quoting her exactly. I'll be all those things if he starts to change. And Paul says doesn matter what happens Doesn matter if my spouse is the most loving person there is or the worst I want to be like Jesus What is it? I've got to be like Jesus. One major problem I've observed is the dream. The dream goes like this.

I want a knight in shining armor who rescues me, who protects me, who is a leader, not a dictator, not a wimp, who understands my deepest needs even without me mentioning them, who knows how hard I work for him and the children, who is intelligent and would love to spend hours listening to my ideas, and who also has the ability to fix and build anything we need around here. That's what you're looking for in a man. Right?

And what happens is, you don't get that in a man. Well, most don't. Right? I'll illustrate this, just for a moment. I walk into our house one night, evening, and there is my wife, Becca, and our, we call her our adopted daughter. she doesn't really belong to us but we kind of claim her anyway Maddie, because Maddie lived with us for four years while she went to school so I walk in in this conversation they're having and I hear my wife say this just giving her some older woman help she says to Maddie Maddie you know when you get married here's what you need to remember if it isn't broke don't fix it if it is broke learn to live with it what so you can see right away my wife did not get the man who can fix everything some would say anything but be that as it may because you don't have a husband that meets your expectations you can tend to get bitter you can tend to get disappointed you can tend to start saying mean and unkind things to him as your bitterness grows.

When couples come to me and they begin by telling me just how bad and undeserving his or her spouse is, I respond, well, you know what? You've missed a great opportunity in all of this. What? What's that? You've missed the opportunity in all this hardship and difficulty to show your spouse Jesus. You've missed the opportunity to show what Jesus is like.

No matter what your husband is like, and especially since he does not meet your expectations, you still make it your goal to exalt Christ. You make it your goal to be like Jesus. You make it your goal so that when your journey on earth is done, people will be able to say, she was like seeing Jesus. That's what you want to live for. Maybe you struggle with the problem of dream children, right?

You correct them one time and they never do it again. Of course, the problem with that is then they get older and there's a whole new set of problems. what if your house isn't what you've always wanted it to be do you find yourself complaining because life hasn't turned out the way you wanted do you apologize to the children for the fact that you can't give them everything they want do you get bitter because you just never seem to have enough money or do you take the opportunity to be like Jesus to exalt Christ so people see Jesus that's what you want what are your life and death issues that's the bottom line what are your life and death issues whether by life or whether by death Christ will be exalted in my body What are your life and death issues What are the things that you want and maybe you getting them or that you don want or that you do want and you not getting them What are those life and death issues You got to say the most important thing for me is not what happens to me, not that I get what I want. The most important thing that happens here is that people see Christ.

The last thing I want you to notice is you make it your goal to exalt Christ with eagerness. Notice, I eagerly expect and hope. Paul had an expectation, an eagerness to exalt Christ in his situation. So ask yourself, are you eager to accomplish this? Do you desire this above all else? Do you give it much thought?

Do you give it much thought? Do you pray for it? Do you make sure you're under the preaching of the word of God and the fellowship of the saints to strengthen you to be able to do that? Do you cultivate this in your life? Do you read the scriptures? Do you ask God, please make this my goal.

Please work in me. Question is, why should you be eager for this kind of a task? Why should you be eager to make Christ known, no matter what, to exalt Him? Because He died for you. And God exalted His Son. And God exalted Him and sent His Spirit in order that you might share in all the benefits of His death.

Because Jesus gave himself for you you you should desire to exalt him Now is this some kind of a secret for being a successful wife and mother Is this a key to success Well no it not the thing that going to answer everything But it's going to be the foundation. You have here two necessary ingredients for life. This is the necessary foundation for your growth as a Christian and as a mom. unless you want to exalt Christ you're not going to make progress in your growth you must want to exalt him and this is the necessary foundation for worship because exalting Christ goes beyond being a good mom it means that you become this for the purpose of glorifying the one who redeemed you it's necessary because this is how a redeemed person shows Christ.

It's absolutely essential. Make it your goal to exalt Christ no matter what. No matter what. No matter how good or bad things are. No matter whether my spouse is the most loving or not. Whether my children are the dream children or they're not. whether you have all the money that you want or you don whatever the case may be there only one thing that matters I want Christ to be exalted That's what I live for.

Father, thank you for your word and for the words of hope they give us. Father, even now, I think it may seem impossible, and yet as we pray, as we read your word, we listen to your word, as we beg you to work in our lives, we know that we can do this. But it has to begin with us thinking this way. I pray for the moms here. Those who have died to self in order to serve others, I pray for them and ask that you would help them to see what is really important, and that is to exalt Christ.

Lord I pray that others who have listened to this today would have the same attitude as these moms that our goal is to exalt Christ God help us to that end we pray the world needs to see Jesus and the world will see Jesus in our lives help us to be faithful reflectors of him Amen Thank you.